yum sweet yum

i am back after nearly a fortnight home. Every time i go there, there is this voice inside that keeps whispering how nice it would be if i didn’t have to count the days i have to fly back. It is like an ache that refuses to go away, this pining for the place where i don’t have to stay in a chicken-coop, where i can hug my mother and not just do with her voice over the phone, where life crawls by and you can caress the moments as they glide by…i know i can complain about the status of the road, a flyover that does not seem to want to take off, a market place which looks like a dumping ground, bandhs and strikes, about the load shedding…about corruption, about the so-called “patriotic” naharols….But inspite of all the warts, i love the place, i love the way it refreshes my mind, my spirits.

i decided to give everyone a surprise so i went without informing anyone. i landed there, asked around if there was a prepaid taxi service (stupid of me, I know). Of course, there was none. i finally found a guy and he promptly led me to this auto and managed to stuff my jumbo suitcase inside, much to my amazement. Anyways, there i was feeling like a princess in an auto! Of course, i got chided by everyone. My initial plan was just to spend a week there as i still have the loan cloud hovering above my head. The day before i was supposed to leave, after a bout of emotional attack, i decided to extend the stay for another week. i had to call up the bank, the promoter, my PL to make sure nobody was miffed. My PL was like how could you think of it, everyone here is missing you…i managed to get my way, as always.

Our leikai does not get water supply (ha ha ha) so we have to pump the water from the Imphal river. We have this pump that weighs like an elephant. i nearly sprained my back carrying it (not alone, just in case someone takes me for Kunjarani). As always, i had a fabulous time playing gags on all and sundry, teaching bad things to my cousins and my sweetie pie of a niece (one of my fave pastime when I am home), gorging on all those delicious homemade food….i am feeling so nostalgic right now. i could cry buckets of tears..sigh…

I miss the sound of the “konung”’s gong heralding the start of the day, the chirping of birds, the chattering of my two small precocious cousins, the fights with my sisters, being the judge of the silly games my cousins insist on playing (like throwing their collection of pokemon cards on the ground and seeing who can pick up the most – the punishment for the loser being dancing with his pants down – hey, they are just small kids so there is nothing indecent about this)…….let me stop before I drown in the sea of nostalgia..

Yes......................

After hours of frustration, not to speak of aching feet (and heart), i have found the one. The apartment, i mean. Maybe i am in an indecent hurry but i want everything wrapped up. Anyway, to cut a boring story, i finally found a flat i like in a location i want. i signed the agreement with the promoter today morning and submitted the application for a home loan. But this is just the beginning. i have to think about the painting, the electrical installation and so on and so forth. Boy, i am scared and almost bankrupt, well, maybe not, but i will be..soon enough…

With all the running around, i have hardly time to think about anything else. Or anyone. Which is a blessing.

Ki je hoche

An exhausted mind and body. Nearly wilted after walking around in the sun looking for the ever elusive flat. i am so dead tired. i swear i will just buy the next one that strikes me as live-able. And on top of that you have the brokers who do not keep their words. Why are people so unpunctual? i cannot stand unpunctuality. i don’t believe in making other people wait and i expect the same from them. i was so damn pissed off the other day that i gave the guy a dressing down he will remember for some days to come.

Anyway, here i am, still flat-less. Exasperated. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa……..

i managed to finish “Germinal“by Emile Zola. A bit on the depressing side the way it ended but a nice tale of human emotions. i want to finish “Lord of the flies” but i don’t know why but the story depresses me. There is an oppressive air about it, the way everything hints at dark things to come. i know it is but a story. But sometimes, i think i tend to sink too deep into words.

Flat hunting

i have been tearing my hair out just trying to get a decent flat. Of course, i should have done this some years back. But i am lazy, lazy, lazy….. i am tired of staying in a rented place and want a place i can call my own. A place i can decorate as i like, paint the walls a vivid shade of red (eeeeee), paint flowers on the door…..

So i have been running after real estate consultants (a better term for brokers), and have been flat-seeing for the past week. If i like the flat, i don’t like the locality, if i like the locality, the flat is not up to my expectation…and so on and so forth. i am going to spend this weekend wearing my soles and soul off looking for a suitable place.

And then i have to run after the home loan. Good thing is that i will pay less tax now if i take a home loan. It is almost despairing when i think about the amount i could have saved on tax if i had taken a loan before. And maybe after setting up the nest, i might just go bankrupt. i am going to have this big showcase for my books and candles. i hope i get some place nice.....

New look

To lift my sagging spirits, i got a new hair-do. Beats me how it is supposed to help..Maybe i will smile more when i look at myself in the mirror!!

Work has not been that demanding. Which helps. It would be hell having trouble in both my personal and professional life, ni?

Have been spending too much time in front of the idiot box because i don’t want to think. Reading makes me reflect on life which is one thing i don’t want to do right now.

i started reading “Lord of the flies” and then stopped midway because i was actually scared of the way the story was unfolding. i don’t want to read anything remotely depressing right now. i should go and buy myself some Mills and Boon but then maybe that is a bad idea because it would remind me of things i don’t want to remember. So i read Tinkle comics now!! And supplement that with Femina and the disgusting Woman’s Era. You should read some of the articles in that magazine. So why do i buy it? Because i like laughing out loud at stupid things…sadistic me..

Gave a training to the newbies. My god, these kids look so young. And scared. i wonder whether i was the same way when i joined. Sometimes people ask me why i have been in the same company for years now. More than anything else, it is because i like the atmosphere. It is the kind thrive in. i mean, i can play gags on my colleagues, wander around barefoot, tell my seniors my mind without worrying about the consequences. I think i will suffocate in a project where you have to be serious and professional all the time. i do my job well (thank you) but i want to have fun when i am doing it.