the do's and don'ts

i don't know whether it happens anywhere else, but over here, a woman is not supposed to cook during those 5 days of the month. Or worship. Because she is supposed to be unclean. i could/can never understand what is so unclean about a biological fact. i have always broken this "rule". i have done/still do everything i do on "normal" days during those 5 days and when i say everything, well, i mean everything!

His mother had a fit when she found out that i had cooked for them when i had my periods - you would have thought i had walked around naked or something. She knew me and she knew i was not going to relent without a fight. She said since they believe in all this, i should follow this for them when they stay with us. She said i could do whatever i like when they don't stay with us. Well, as much as i hate doing such things, i did it for her. And her beliefs. And it meant 5 days of respite from cooking. Not bad if you look at it from that angle.

i think whoever thought up of this was a woman. When you think about it, for someone who has to take care of big families, 5 days of rest would be manna.

On this topic, my mother is someone i adore for having never stopped me from doing what i believe in. She is a god-fearing woman who follows all these "do's and don'ts". but i don't remember her chiding me ever for not following what i didn't believe in. i love you, ema.

And cutting nails - we are not supposed to cut nails on our birth days. And certain days of the week - which i make sure i never remember. i cut my nails whenever i want to. The same applies to cutting your hair. God, the beauty parlours really must suffer over here. i think i have broken just about all these "dictates". Thank god they did not specify which days to abstain from you-know-what. Otherwise i would have been one weary lady trying to break the rule!!

And the thing is people, even people my generation, still follow all these without questioning why. i can understand why they came up with the one about not cutting your nails at night. In olden days when we did not have the nights as brightly illuminated as now, it would be prudent not to risk cutting your fingers along with your nails at night. But how is that applicable in these days?

There are so many do's and don'ts that i am not even aware of. The past one month has taught me just how lucky i was to have grown up in an environment where there were few do's and don'ts - and good ones at that, like not using swear words (which explains why, till this day, i have never used a manipuri swear word. Of course, being the hypocrite i am, i do dirty my mouth with english and bengali swear words!!), not discrimating people,... i think my parents brought me up right by not curbing my desire to find my own truths.

The truth is not what is handed down to you. It is what you extract from questioning things, finding your answers. i still have a long way to go in my quest for the meaning of life - but i do think i am on the right path. Well, even if i am not, at least, i would have died searching.