mess...

i am such a disorganised person that it irks me no end. i just cannot seem to organise my things. My room is a mess most of the time, with my bed piled up with mags, books and oddities. And everytime i need something,i have to really go through a "treasure-hunt". This topic surfaced because i have misplaced a pen drive containing some project data!! How irresponsible..i was there in the middle of the night yesterday trying to figure out where i have kept the damned thing. In the process, i found the pearl earrings he gave me for valentine's day (and which i thought i had lost), the beautiful seiko watch my friend gave for my birthday, the i-pod i have not even bothered to use, the CD player he got me from his trip to Japan....all gathering dust. i was kinda sad thinking about how i never seem to treasure things except, maybe, my books. i ought to be hanged.

i am in a really unhealthy state of mind..irritable,bitchy..But then, what is new about that.

Yesterday i was chatting with one of my juniors at work. This is a kid who finds my sense of humour and sarcasm admirable! She once made me blush like a beetroot when she gushed about how much she likes me at the company picnic (Of course, i was flattered and embarassed, in that order). We were talking about dreams and the meaning of our existence. Dreams and beliefs. About how much it hurts when you have to go against your belief just to make people you love happy. My beliefs, thoughts and dreams are so different from everybody else around that i feel like an alien sometimes. i have always lived with that feeling of never being understood by anyone, maybe except a few of my friends. And i have come to accept that as the price for being different. So once in a while, it is refreshing to talk with people with similar beliefs.