She does me proud.....

OK, she is not your ultra educated kind; she does not read hi-funda books; she is the small town woman who always think about what others will say/think. My mother. She of the perpetual worries, she of the large hearted ever forgiving nature.

I talk to her over the phone everyday. I cannot imagine how life must be now without Baba. Yesterday she sheepishly asked me whether she could ask me something. She knows my temper only too well and she knows it takes just one wrong move to make me foam at the mouth- yes, yes, I am a bad daughter. She wanted to know of my younger sister had anyone in her life because she is thinking of getting her married off- you know the usual Indian parents' dialogue of completing all their duties before they die (as of getting your daughters married off is completing your duty but let's not digress). I hesitated. I am the only one in the family who knows of my sister's relationship with someone who is not from our community - I fully support them. The guy had asked me to talk to my family about their intention to get married but with Baba's demise, I thought it best to wait for everyone to get a semblance of order in our lives. My mother said she had asked her friends to find a good Manipuri match for my sister. I told her to stop searching for one. And I told her. I was expecting at least a token murmur of displeasure from her considering how parents always seem to want 'guys from our own kind' . But all she asked wad whether the guy was good . I said yes. I thought she would have protested a bit about how inter- racial marriages are not good. But all she said was we should get her married off once the one year mourning period is over.

Yes, I was left a bit stunned. I had expected to play the large- hearted elder sister supporting her sister against silly family notions of keeping it all within the community. IDamn, I had expected to give a lecture about how we should judge aa person not by his religion or caste or community but by the goodness in him. I had expected to play the large hearted big sister who would arrange to get her sister married on her ownsome despite family protests and threats of ostracism.

Tough luck. It seems I misjudged my mother and her ability to accept things for her daughter's happiness. No threats. No tears of blackmail. Just a graceful acceptance. I am sobproud to be her daughter. Ema, I love and adore you.