the art of waiting

If waiting is an art, i will never be able to master it. i hate waiting. For anything. Or anyone. And somehow, life has conspired to make sure that all of the people close to me have no sense of punctuality. So i am doomed to a life of always waiting.

i am not in a condition to think coherently. My thoughts flit around in my head like butterflies - i am never able to catch them. i think i will blog about this and that and i log in and i never can bring myself to do anything. Today i managed to stir up some life...but not the words!

i am scared. Of the changes just around the corner. Scared of how i would be able to cope with them - whether i will wilt under pressure. i am scared of whether i would be able to do justice to my responsibilities. i am scared, as always, of life. So i do what i am so good at - shut out all these thoughts. Try not to think about anything but the next moment.

i am so tired of waiting. Tired of wondering whether today would be the day.