looking back

Just a few more days and this year would be gone too...and i wonder how fast the days flew. And it has left me still the same - imperfect, impatient, unkind, bitchy...

Still have not found the answers to the questions that clutter my mind. And i have no hope of finding them - many some things are best not found (whatever that means).

Life saddens me...i drift away from all i love..slowly, sleathily...and the worse thing is i don't care...maybe that is my way of dealing with life - running away. Oh well, i have always been a coward.

i dream of being alone - all by myself. Maybe because i know every bond that ties would hurt when it breaks, which it will one day or the other. And i have failed to realise that is not the way to live life. Or maybe i realise it but i am too scared. Oh hell, why i am running around in circles chasing my tail at the end of the year???

A colleague wrote to say she hopes the new year will be kind to me. Can life ever be kind?? i wonder....And on that note, i bid this year goodbye. But not before saying that i am ungrateful for not counting the good things in my life and cribbing and crying about the bad things. There i go again.....