i have not been able to synthesize even the hint of a smile the whole day. i am angry – with the world but mostly with myself. My voice sounds like it has poison laced with it – bitter and dark.
The “mali kaka” of our company is going to have an operation. They sent out a mail asking us to collect money from the team – it is optional but i have taken it upon myself to make sure everyone chips in at least something. So i have been going from desk to desk saying “Taka dao”. It is for a good cause so i don’t mind going around asking for money. Have managed to collect about 2K till now. Have about 30 more people to bug and extort money. This task has managed to lift my spirits a bit. i even managed to squeeze out a smile or two.
The end of another day. How many more such days left in my kitty, i wonder.
Monday, November 03, 2008
in the dark...
The one feature about i-Phone i like is “Sketches”. i spent the weekend “sketching” and quite loved the outcome.
The wind of depression still blows in my life. All i need is to shut the window that lets in this wind. But i am stuck – can’t even summon the will to smile.
i so wish i can exorcise the demons inside me. These feelings that claw at my innards, making me bleed, these ties that smother.
i pretend i am so strong. If only you could see me cry when the lights go off.
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