love sucks...

If only life was easy as baking a ready-to-bake cake! The hardest thing in life is letting go. Specially, when you have invested so much of yourself in it. When we weave dreams, little do we know how much it would hurt if the dreams were to be torn apart.

i am not bitter with life. In fact, i still find myself smiling, cracking inane jokes. It is when i lay down to sleep that i visit the place inside where confusion reigns. i am so undecided about what i want – stay or move on. Either way, i will lose a part of my life. i had made a choice a year back and i feel i should stick to it come what may. But a part of me tells me it is not worth it while another part feels i would be letting down so many people. Selfish as i am, my steps falter as i plan to open a new door to another life. The choice is mine to make and i am numb. This i know for sure - i will survive, with or without love. And i know i will learn to trust again. If only i can take the first step…..

But still, this heart that has loved skips a beat when the one it has loved reaches out to touch it. Love is a cruel thing. Our lives are too entangled to disengage ourselves without bleeding. i have packed my emotional baggage (so heavy i can hardly shoulder it!) but every time i turn to go, something makes me stop. i have yet to extricate my heart from love’s clutches. What is it about love that you keep hoping everything will work out? What foolish world does love inhabit that it turns a blind eye to everything? Why do the heart insists of finding an excuse for love’s every fault?

i am actually getting bored of these heartaches. i am so saturated.