the art of saying 'no'

'No' is one of my favourite words. Anyone associated with me can vouch for that. 'Can you do this for me?' - 'no'. 'Lets go there' - 'no'. 'Eat this' - 'no'. No. No. No.

i think it has something to do with i being pig-headed and conceited and yes, inconsiderate too. i don't think twice before saying 'no' to things i would rather not do. i am someone driven almost entirely by her own needs and wishes. So i cannot be bothered to think if i am hurting sentiments or breaking customs by saying 'no'. i hate being nice - there are too many nice people in this world.

i think 'no' is a powerful word and so under-utilised. Ironically, almost all of the people close to me are the type who cannot say 'no' because they are such nice people who would rather do something they don't want than hurt the other person. (It could also be that i was drawn to them in the first place because they cannot say 'no'!!!). M, one of my close friends can never say 'no' no matter how much inconvenience she has to face. So she ends up being exploited by people and having to house- and baby-sit while other people enjoy a vacation. She complains about how tired she is but she would never say 'no'. Such are the soft hearted people i associate with.

Since i am lucky enough to have been blessed with a heart that does not melt easily, saying 'no' comes easy to me. S used to say it is because i am so sure about what i want and don't want.

And once i say 'no', come hell i would not change my mind. Or so says K to anyone who tries to change my mind after i have uttered the word always at the tip of my tongue -no! He is wrong though. There are some people in my life like my mother and him who knows just which string of my otherwise insensitive heart to pull. i call it emotional blackmail. They call it 'love'. Or friends like SM and SC who can also be stubbornly patient to wear me down to the point to make me revert my 'no' to a reluctant 'yes' (like SC who can say 'chalo cha khai' almost a thousand times when i say 'no'). Would this prove i am partly human after all?

And of course, i cannot stand it when i get a 'no' for an answer!!! Such is the beauty of my nature!