But is it possible that i have chosen the moral high ground, that i am being stoic? I have no control over what someone says or does. I have no control over what has happened. But i do have control over how i react, over my actions. Am i hurt? Oh yes, i am. Do i want to hurt back? No, i don’t. I do not see the wisdom in it.
Love - this thing over which thousand and one poems have been written, films made, lives destroyed, lives redeemed. What is it? When i say i love someone, do i mean i love that person only if he/she loves me back? What if love is simply wanting the best for the one you love? It should not matter whether he is happy with someone else, as long as he is happy. Am i being too cheesy? But that is what i feel right now. I do not want to hurt back, i do not want to fling accusations…i refuse to paint myself as a victim.
I have always been so hot-headed, ready to hurt back when hurt. Maybe this is the one lesson in life that this relationship has left me - that i can always be a better version of myself.
I forgive myself, i forgive him - we loved and we hurt each other. When it is time to part, i want to do that with a smile.
I know i have to grieve over this, to bury it with the dignity it deserves, wipe off my tears and pick up the pieces. Sometimes, a broken thing does not have to be ugly. Life is what we make of it. Maybe it will take time…but get up, i will. One day….
