Drowning...

I am drowning...can hardly keep afloat. My thoughts are dragging me down. One moment, i find myself accepting the fact that this is over, the next my mind thinks up of reasons why i cannot just let go, not after how much i have loved. And i find myself bawling my eyes out. The thought of food nauseates me. I drink pots of green tea- as if that could wash away all this hurt, this pain. One part of me knows this is the only way out..the other part clings on to old memories. I am a mess... I don’t know how this will end. But i know i have to get professional help, just talk these dark thoughts away. There must be a sliver lining somewhere but for now, all i see is darkness. There is this fog inside my head. Maybe, just maybe, one day i would be able to read this and smile. For now, all i want to do is hide away from everyone, just curl up in a ball and hope this is just something i will wake up from.