The clouds parted a bit. And a bit of sunshine filtered into my life. Of course, i could do without it since i seem to prefer darkness more than light! He has been sweet, trying his best to draw me out from wherever it is that i withdraw into after every fight. i have been sulky – i told you I don’t give up gracefully! i am the type who would bite off the opponent’s ear rather than lose gracefully. i have not bitten off any part of his body though i am seriously tempted to do so at times!
i keep wondering whether other couples fight as we do. Do they also go through this phase of fight-make up-be friends-fight again? Do they also spend the whole night fighting? And go to sleep in each other’s arms exhausted after the fight? Or maybe they are understand each other and don’t let small things get under their skin.
Is it human nature to let one small fight fog up all the good times we have had together? We concentrate more on the bitter memories than the better ones. Grudges pile up and one day - boom. Something just ignites the whole pile and it explodes in your face and leaves you wishing you had never fallen in love.
But it is not so easy to fall out of love either. Somehow we tend to think of the effort, the years we have invested in something rather than think about the days to come.
When i watch him sleep, my heart melts. i know what we have is worth saving.
It is just that sometimes, i get so witchy and bitchy and i want to lift him up and smash him to the ground – like Krishna did to his kansa mama. i am glad i am petite. If i had been like built like Hidimba, i cannot imagine the havoc i would have created. If there is anything like reincarnation, i want to be an elephant the next time around. Either that or a black widow spider.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
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