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How, just how, would you react if, out of the blue you discover that a close friend is cheating on his wife and generally making a fool of himself? Do you get angry, sad, helpless and betrayed? Do you feel tears clawing at your eyes?

I have very, very few friends. And because I chose to have few friends, I treasure them. He is one of them. And to find out that he has been misusing his power, betraying his family.

I was so sad, so very sad. And angry. And baffled. All through the day, in a corner of my mind, the thought kept replaying- how could he do this, how could he do this?

I asked someone who had access to my ex-company site to show me the picture of this slut he was carrying on with was. I had to see her face, to try to make it real. And you know, she is not even remotely attractive - I would not even look at her twice if she stepped on my toes in a bus. I would have thought maybe it was midlife crisis if the girl had been a young, pretty one. I would not have condoned it but I would have thought maybe it was hormones. Just to have an excuse to at least try to understand him.

And the worse thing is his wife suspects/ knows. He has a son too - my bloody bastard of a friend. What makes people do things like this? Is a screw so much more priority in your life than your wife and son? I kept thinking of how humiliating it must have been for his wife to make calls late at night to track him.

I don't know what to do. I would not be ableto livewith myself if I did not tell him what I think about thisfoolishness. I know is his life and he can screw all the sluts he wants but I would not condone it. I would tell him just what I think of him.

But then think what if has mended hisways? He is leaving the company and hopefully leaving her behind too.

And that slut. I only wish I was back there. I would have given her something to remember meb by. That fat cow.

And my equally stupid asshole of a friend who cannot even seem to see he is being used.maybe they deserve each other. Maybe they should both suffer from some STD. I am incoherent in my sadness.