Have managed to come back with my sins intact! Took the early morning flight yesterday - had to wake up at 4:30. My throat feels like i have straw stuck in it and i have a stomach that seems to be not responding well to my return back to non-veg diet!

i feel like a ragged doll - maybe i am getting too old for travel. The trip was quite an experience. And all the darshan of the thousand gods and goddesses have not shaken my faith - i still remain a non-believer.

If i find the enthu, i will blog about the trip in detail.

Right now, all i want to do is wallow in a pond of sin, smoke grass and sin some more.

Now that everything is over, i need to get my life back on track. S has scheduled a meeting to try to win me over to his team - it feels good to be wanted so! i now have to decide whether i want to stay put here or grow wings and fly. i am so tired of the emotional roller-coaster i am in. i deserve so much more. And it hurts to see myself hesitating to take the final step. i thought i was stronger than this. But i am so scared of what this might do to my parents. It is at times like this that i wish i was just alone, with no soul to call my own. i am tired of getting hurt trying to stop my loved ones from getting hurt. i am selfish. i only wish i was more selfish.

My birthday came and went. And left me one year nearer to the end. What a depressing way to look at birthdays.