Busy busy bee

OK, I didn't trip on the blogging each day for a week thingy I promised myself so here I am with nothing much to blog about.

Work was busy but I prefer it that way. Before I realized, it was almost time for me to rush off to get the elf. At least now I don't have to count the seconds before I can make a respectable time to exit from the office.

One upside - well, the only one - about being impatient is that I get things done quick. I am actually superfast compared to the folks in the project. And maybe it helps that I am smart too. Hee her hee. How immodest and completely delusional can I get?

I started Hemingway's for whom the bell tolls and found it good reading. The book was under my pillow and then it fell under the bed and I am too lazy to pick it so I am waiting for someone else to pick it up so I could finish it. All such ugly details of my mundane existence are going to assault your senses for the next seven days as I will write anything to comes to my fingertip.

I blog using the iPhone now- oui, how tech savvy am I ?? And I have misplaced the charger for my MacBook and now I cannot use it. It must be sleeping with the book under the bed for all I know.

I was able to get acess right to a tool I am not supposed to be using. A minor victory in a company where everything is so f&@@@@@@@ compartmentalized. Wait till I change all that before they throw me out.

Enough for today I say.

400

This is my 400th post! And it took me more than a year to go from 300 to 400. Imagine! I thought maybe as a celebration of this very memorable event ( now you know just how pathetic my life is, I am actually celebrating this, I thought I would blog everyday for a week. Scary, eh? I know...

You know, the other day, because I have nothing better to do in life, I was checking out celebrity blogs. I read Big B's blog and saw he blogs almost everyday. What?! I mean, what with his busy schedule and all. I then read somewhere that someone actually ghost-blogs for him. Really? I was disappointed but maybe , just maybe it is really him.

Now, what would I blog about? I am sure to rant, crib, be pathetic. But what the hell? Let me celebrate.

We have a new release coming up and, after days of doing practically nothing, I was swamped with work and time flew like a crow on steroids (what?). So for two weeks or so, I am going to be busy. Which is so fun. It beats getting paid for doing nothing.

Am I supposed to get flattered when people tell me I look the same like I did some 6-7 years back? They say I have not changed. What do they know of my having to dye my hair to hide the grey? But yes, I am almost the same weight and my teeth have not fallen off, my knees still work....

And I was shattered to find I weigh 44.5 kgs now with clothes on. That is not a respectable figure, is it?

One of my colleagues at work told me she thought I should take up teaching as I would make a very good teacher. Me? I told her I have no patience at all to become one. And she was surprised to hear that I am someone who is patience - deficient; I guess she has never really seen that side of me. It is funny that misconception people tend to have, huh?

she is a really nice lady. I remember her coming up to me and saying hi the first day i joined and I thought what a nice lady. We sometimes go on blabbering when we have nothing better to do. I have never really had a female colleague before, someone I could talk to without getting bored. And it helps that she thinks I am very knowledgable! Ahem! And what I like about her is that if she does not know something, unlike most people, she does not try to pretend otherwise. I like that attitude in people. There is something so off putting when someone just tries to talk his way into making you believe that they know something when it is so obvious that they don't. It is so refreshing to hear someone say something like ' I honestly don't know anything about that.'

So that is one way to impress me - ignorance and an attitude that is not afraid to show you are ignorant. Whatever that means.

Sunshine for a change

Today was supposed to be the hottest day of the year. And I saw more bare bodied men in my life today than the whole time I have been in this country. It was like all guys with bodies good enough to show off had decided to take off their shirts today. Not that I am complaining.

Even I, the kind who would wrap herself in a blanket if she could to step outside at the merest hint of a gloomy sky, I ventured out in a t- shirt today - that would be the equivalent of me stripping down to my skin.

On the work front, keeping myself busy learning new stuff that I am not supposed to know. What I hate about this place is the fact that every team is compartmentalized - one team is not supposed to have the know-how of the other team. I mean , what the hell? It is not like we are working for rival companies. We work for the same goddamn company. I insist on trying to know what the other teams do. That did not go down too well in the beginning. But I guess my perseverance got the better of them.

One of my ex-junior told me their productivity has gone down now that I am back in the office because we now have long tea breaks - ok, oneong tea break to be precise. He said tea breaks were not that fun when I am not around. Hah! I must be miss popularity herself!

The art of staying alive

What is the art of staying alive? By that I don't mean just breathing, eating...I mean alive in the sense of knowing what you want, having a sense of direction...I am so fucking bored out of my mind these days- see, I even used the f word. I am that bored. I get no joy out of work - because I have nothing much to do. I should have taken a longer break but the client kept asking when I would join. Rather than not have a job, I joined. They pay me now for spending half the day gazing at the laptop with empty eyes. I would rather have work than sit idle. The minutes seem to crawl painfully slow.

The days are painfully similar, one day bleeding into the next. And half the year is gone even before I realized it.

I guess after some time you have to realize that there is no sense in life, no purpose. We are born, we will die and in between, if we are lucky we would have lived. What is the whole fucking point of earning and making my bank balance fat? Security for the future they say. What the hell! I don't even know whether I want to be alive tomorrow.

I am beginning to fade. Into the nothingness I came from. I don't find nothing much to look forward to because I see no sense in anything in life. Hormones? Phase of the moon? Or maybe I just became wiser.

i am back..the weather is a bitch...so many things happened in between..birthday came and went leaving me one year older..I do not find birthdays special anymore.. He'll, it is just another day. How does it matter whether you were born on that date many moons back? Why do we celebrate birthdays? I mean what is the point? Are we celebrating the joy of being alive? Just on one day? I am so anti-everything these days.

I was also sick right after the birthday. When it was a torture just to drag myself out of bed. It has been a long time that I have been sick that I had forgotten how much it sucks. It is then you realize that there is nothing like good health. If you are not feeling well, nothing counts. I made life miserable for everyone because I was feeling so miserable. nothing like adversity to bring out the worse in me.

I also returned to work. After nearly half an year of enjoying working from home, not having to bother with deciding what to war, whether I am late...I hate it. But I don't have any excuse of not joining the other ordinary mortals in their daily trudge to work. And as expected from me, all I made in the one month break I took allegedly to brush up my candle making skills were 4 candles... All miserable looking ones. I swear it is enough to make me forget about the dream of a candle shop. But in my defense I was just not in the mood. I need to have that creative juices flowing before I start a project. This time around it was more like forced. I was clever and gave up and went back to books and sleeping instead. Pat me on the back, please.

At work, everybody welcomed me. Umm. That felt good. Also, one of my colleagues from my ex- company who is here said she was frustrated to see me in so good a shape. I don't know whether she was expecting me to have aged, put on weight, look horrible in the intervening years she had not seen me. hah! Good genes.

Life is strange. It throws you in situations that rattle you when you least expect it. One thing I have discovered is that I am the kind of person I wantto be with when I am in trouble. I will initially panic, start tearing my hair and do the stuff drama queens do. And then I will transform into a cool(cold) headed bitch who will go about mending the broken pieces and trying to extricate myself from the holes I keep falling into. I love Myself. Yes I do.