maudlin thoughts

i turned down SC’s offer of joining his team. It has partly to do with me not wanting to move out of my comfort zone and partly because i am so uncertain about the future and i don’t want him to be in a soup if i have to change the direction of my life tomorrow.

i think it is about time (more like past the time) for me and him to have a talk about what we want in life. If we find that we no longer share the same dreams, then it is time for us to untie the bonds, to uproot the love. And move on. There is much more to life than trying to get a relationship back on track.

i know how much easier for me it would to be to just hang on and go on with life. But i want more – i want to live. i want to see my dreams come true. i don’t want to live other people’s dreams but my own.

And i am so tired of my whining. i am so tired of knowing what i want and not trying to get it even when i know it is a touch away. i am so tired about thinking everyday i need a change and then going back to the same routine. What stops me from doing what i want – i do not lack money, or opportunities. Sometimes, i am tired of myself. For being this dinosaur waiting to be wiped out. ummm.


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
--Anon