weighty problem

i think i am not too fond of myself right now. i have become too grouchy. And bitchier. My blood starts boiling at the drop of a hat these days. i think maybe that is one of the reasons why i seem to shed weight as fast as Mallika Sherawat sheds clothes - my blood is evaporating!

i weighed myself the other day and was shocked to find that all i account for is 42 kgs of the weight on this planet. My mother insists i am turning into a stick insect. Hell, it is not like i am starving myself. Or that i want to lose weight. i mean, who wants to look like a stick insect?

i think i hate him. i want to end things after we wind up things over here. i want this to be over. i am just so fed up of things.

i just hope i have the strength to see this through, not to bend to pressure again. Somehow, love does not make sense to me anymore. i am not even sure i am still in love. And i don't want to be with someone i don't love. i would rather be alone than be miserable this way.

i think he knows that this time he has lost me. For good.

i hope i don't change my mind, yet again. i hope i don't fall in love with him again. i hope i don't succumb to his moves. i just want to be alone.

tele-commuting

Tele-commuting is a concept i have always liked. What more fun could it be than to code in your PJs, sprawled on your bed with uncombed hair? It does take a lot of will to be professional when you tele-commute. The temptation to do other things when you are working is something you have to fight.

This is my first day of tele-commuting from Imphal. With the broadband connection that has a mind of its own, i am finding it a wee bit tough. i completed my assignments before lunch time much to the amusement of M-da who told me it would not do for me to work so fast while working from home! i need to slow down.

If the connection was a bit better, i would have enjoyed it much more. At times, i wish i was at office nagging the juniors and sipping free tea served with adda. S is back from his US sojourn and he must be missing irritating me. So many people to miss me when i am gone. i am almost flattered!

back...

i am in office right now after rushing here from the airport to get the laptop so i can work from home for the coming two weeks. The flight got delayed...i read some 100 pages of "One hundred Years of solitude". This book is being treated very much like a delicacy - i partake it in tiny morsels because i am scared it would get over...

i am hungry and tired.

i will be flying back on saturday. God, i feel like a lost bird.

help me, i am vanishing

Everyone keeps telling me how thin i have become...i could pass off for one of those anorexic models now if not for my height...And i have sprouted a bed of pimples on my forehead...as i look at myself in the mirror i cannot decide whether i am still beautiful.Was i ever beautiful? Always, like S would say...god, i am so shallow...i love myself...this really is a stupid post....i am out of my mind actually...i think i should stop here...