i don’t know how people manage to be so kind and generous all the time or at least make a pretence of it. He is that type – always trying to be nice to everyone. What did we ever see in each other, i wonder? Was it the we-complement each other factor given that we are as different as different can be. Or did we expect to mould the other to our ideas and ideals?
i think i do not have an ounce of niceness in me. The only time i am nice is when i want to be – does that count as niceness? i would never go out of my way to be nice to anyone. In fact, i suspect i go out of my way not to be nice. For me, i come first. Which is what vexes him and pretty much everyone associated with me. My philosophy is simple “ If i am not happy, i can never be able to make anyone else happy.”. Maybe twisted logic but then, i am twisted.
Do i plan to change? No, because i do not see anything wrong in it. My nature is such that if i am unhappy, i just cannot think of anyone else.
Maybe as i ripen (as if i am a papaya!), i might see the other side of the coin and become more human. Or maybe i will become worse with time and age. Pretty much like a spoilt papaya.
Like i say “Bhalo howar jono onek log royeche. Ami baje hote chai” (There are so many people who are good. i want to be bad.). i want to be evil.
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3 comments:
Oh but you *are* nice, in your own way.. Maybe not the conventional definition.
As you said there are many people who are good (I would say, want to/ claim to be good), I want to be evil.
And you want to be different. And variety is the spice of life.
you said - I come first. You think it is any different for any of us? Almost everyone of us is exactly the same, we just are too 'nuice' to admit it!
the last person who was not selfish was probably MK Gandhi, and maybe even He, had some ego, if not any other flaws.
Regarding the opposites attract bit, yes, it is tricky is it not - we want to change someone to become a mirror image of ourselves -- but then it would not be the person we liked or loved..
Please, please...don't call me nice. i might break out in hives.
Yeah, that is true - i want to be different, sometimes to a fault.
See, other people at least "suppress" that. i know people who would be nice to others when when it is inconvenient to them. Which is something i find hard, make that very hard, to do.
True enough.
Ok, put it this way.
Its nice you are honest to the point of being blunt, rather than a hypocrite.
Be the way you are, the world be damned.
And the ones close to you, anyway understand.
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