*&#^%$*#(

10:15- Dinner is ready. Have not switched off the lights yet or locked the grill. But i can feel the tendrils of displeasure swaying in my mind. i have always hated waiting - for anyone, esp. him. i wait, the tendrils threaten to turn into branches that will soon flower and fill my mind with the fragrance of anger - does anger have a scent? Like lust?

i have never been an understanding person ever. i want the world to revolve around me. For things to start and end with me. But maybe life is that way. i mean, when you really think about it, the most important person in your life is you yourself. Maybe behind everything we do, self interest lurks. But right now, all i want is for him to come home. i will sharpen my nails in the meantime and maul him. Too bad we don't have an axe. But there is the saw. If you see a female in the news 'morrow accused of killing her man, know it is me.

Deep breaths. Take deep breaths. Count upto 29. Or 69. OK, i will not molest him tonight. i am the mistress of my emotions. so, irritation, anger, all you negative emotions, i banish you to the dark corner. Stay there and rot.

i am hungry.

i am sleepy.

Maybe i should just go off to sleep. And hope to wake up with a clean mind. Or maybe i should wait and get the dirty task done. i hope they will let me read books in jail. i hope they will let me blog too.

Or maybe i should just surprise him by jumping into his arms and raining kisses on him. Or maybe i could do a Sharan Stone, lure him into bed and seduce him, and when he least expect it--- oh, boy. i am turning criminal.

Intihaan ho gayi
Intezaar ki
Aayi nah koi khabar meri yaar ki
Bas humme yeh yakeen
Bewafaa ho nahin
Phir waza kya huwi
Intezaar ki...

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