Sunday, April 20, 2008

no...

This is for "Me in Love". In a post on her blog she wrote about "saying no" and whether she is not a victim if she cannot say no.

Fortunately for me, inspite of being a woman who also happens to be a "chinky", i have not faced many situations where i have felt "scared". Maybe it has to do with the place - maybe the people here are a decent lot.

But i am sure if i were to face a situation where i am being stalked, i would be petrified. But if you ask me, a "no" does not need to be vocal - it does not have to be a single syllable shouted out in fear. A guy who is forcing himself on someone would know from your reaction that it is a 'no', right? It is OK to be scared, it is OK to be confused. Not being able to mouth a 'no' does not mean you are condoning his actions. He would know from your reactions that it is a "NO" - loud and clear.

The only experiences i have had with pests are in public buses - and i avoid them like the plague. When i find a guy slithering up to me, i say in my coldest voice loud enough for everyone around me to hear " Could you please stand a bit further away/could you please stand decently?". It has worked for me everytime. Maybe it has to do with my ice cold stare and voice - so says my sister!!

But lonely roads and late nights - it is a scary situation. Human beings are the scariest creatures because they are so cruel without a cause. Take care, brishti ( that is bengali for rain) and remember that it is not your fault ever.

N.B.: My state of mind (and stomach) being such that coherent thinking is a bit beyond me, i don't know whether my rambling would make sense. Hope it helped. btw, i am not a strong girl - only someone who has pretended to be strong for so long that it has become almost a mask i cannot take off even if i wanted - the tragedy is almost comic!

3 comments:

Rain Girl said...

*hugs* it did, it did help a lot.. :)

Those ice-cold stares I have plenty, but you really cannot shake someone off with a stare or word @ lonely roads.

p.s. your "ramblings" made perfect sense, and i cant thank yu enough. and..you know, being strong is all a state of mind. they say, if you can't be brave - pretend. noone can tell the diffrence . ;)

take care. and get well soon...

gypsy said...

i am glad i could be of help. And buy a can of pepper spray and keep it with you always.

Rain Girl said...

you know what? my boss gifted me one pepper spray after an incident :P sweet of him na..he said i hope i never have to use it ;)