Saturday, July 21, 2007

sleepy head



late in the morning - still in the middle of a dream. Something woke me up and i glanced at the clock - and literally jumped out of the bed. i'd overslept!!

It seems like i never seem to get enough of sleep...i can sleep and sleep. And then, sleep some more. i think it has to be the dreams - i mean, even if i nap for 30 minutes, i dream. It is like i live in two worlds. And my dreams seem so real - when i wake up, sometimes it is with much reluctance. Yesterday, i dreamed i was reading a book - and i can even remember some lines from the book - as i was waiting for him to come to me. Aren't dreams supposed to be a reflection of your mental and emotional state? i only wish i can go on dreaming - and remembering them after i wake up.

i turned down tomorrow's invitation. Was feeling a bit guilty as only a selected few were invited. But then, i think i have had enough of small talk. In two weeks, i have declined two dos. Words will spread around that i am acting hoity-toity and hopefully, no one will invite me anymore. Such bliss. i want to be unpopular - beats me why. Maybe when i get there, i might want to be popular. Sometimes, i think i go out of my way to be mean, esp to people who like me. It is like i try to test their patience, try to see just how mean i have to be to lose their affection. Weird. i am such a weird character. Will never be able to figure myself out.

S wrote to tell me his efficiency has gone down as i am not there anymore to fight with him. Maybe they should hike my salary just for increasing project productivity. What a thought.

S -god, all the people in my life seems to have names starting with S - has gone to LA with his parents. i have never been to LA - and have no interest in going there either. Maybe because everyone wants to go there. i am an extreme case of inverted snob.

One book a day - that is my motto now. i have finished about 12 books so far! Making up for all the time when i stayed away from books. i might die of a book overdose - maybe they will find me in bed, covered in books, with a delighted expression on my face!

5 comments:

sadsadas said...

I wish i can sleep more.I go to bed at 3 in the morning but, can't sleep more than 3-4 hours.Moreover, bad dreams / memories is haunting me.Sometimes, I wish I can selectively erase bad memories. Good that work in office started tightening up slowly so that i don't have time to think other stuff as I'm doing now.:)

gypsy said...

you go to bed at 3 in the morning? And just 3-4 hours?!!

Why do i sense this sadness in you? You know, it is upto you. To make a crude analogy, if you think of life as a tree and the fruit as the memories you gather, would you rather gather the bad ones and store them or would you choose only the good ones? If you should take something from the past into the present, let it be just the lessons you have learned from your mistakes and the good memories.

Leave the regrets and sadness behind. It is not worth lugging the whole baggage with you into the future. Life is what you make out of it, now what it makes out of you. Exorcise the ghosts of your bad memories and move on...The past is best left behind in its resting place.

sadsadas said...

Saying is easier than doing it.I know what is to be done.But, somehow I'm able.Deep inside I'm bleeding and crying. Yesterday, also I sleep at 5 in morning putting off all my alarms for office but, got up at 8 in morning.Inspite of so many effort to sleep again I can't.Something is now badly worng with me.

sadsadas said...

Saying is easier than doing it.I know what is to be done.But, somehow I'm able.Deep inside I'm bleeding and crying. Yesterday, also I sleep at 5 in morning putting off all my alarms for office but, got up at 8 in morning.Inspite of so many effort to sleep again I can't.Something is now badly worng with me.

gypsy said...

i know. Easier said than done. But not impossible. i believe that no tragedy is too great to get over, no heartache too deep to heal.

It is all in your head. You can do two things - either wallow in the pool of misery and pity yourself - or you can say enough of this misery and shrug it off and get on with life. Life is beautiful. Don't throw it away.