i remember hearing this song the first time in my hostel room. It was one of S-di's fave gaan. And those were the days when the only bengali sentences/phrases i could speak was "bhat dao, dal dao, maach dao"! Even though i could not understand the lyrics, something about the song drew me to it.
Now, years later, i suddenly remembered this song, dug it up from the spidery web and discovered i still love it. This is the only song of Nirmala Mishra i have heard. i keep listening and singing along with it - trying to find that elusive oyster that has a pearl...
Amon ekta jhinuk khuje pelamna
Jate mukto ache
Amon kono manush khuje pelam na
Jar mon ache...
Shune gelam anek kotha
Anek golpo anek kotha
Amon ekti kotha khuje pelamna
Jate shotii ache
Pothe shudhu poth haralam
Niruddeshe gelamna
Bhalobasha anek pelam
bhalobasha pelamna...
Sapna anek gelam dekhe
Rod brishti namlo chokhe
Amon ekta asha khuje pelamna
Jar onto ache
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
chinatown
It was a long, long weekend for him - i have a permanent long weekend! - and we decided to go visit chinatown. We woke up to a gloomy morning - it was drizzling. Surprising, i didn't behave like my usual self and hide under the blanket. i guess i was getting too tired of being inside the house and permanently attached to the bed!
So we braved the silly weather and went hunting for chinatown. My intentions were more culinary than touristy - i wanted to see if i could lay my hands on mustard leaves and chives and generally check out if i could recognise half of the things on display - which is one thing i love doing when i go to oriental stores.
So there we were, searching for this shop i saw on the net. Eagle-eyed creatures as we both are, we passed by it without noticing it, walked the whole length of chinatown (thank god, it was not big or i would have died) and came back to square one only to find the shop there!
i was over the moon to find so many vegetables and herbs from back home - ekaithabi (water weed), tenou maanbi (winged beans), awa phadigom, hanggam (mustard)...i was so excited, like a kid in a candy shop. After i circled the shop some 10 times, he had to drag me away! We bought veggies and duck - my favourite meat. Then we went for lunch at this chinese restuarant where they had peking ducks hanging in a row on the display window along with a squid. He wanted to have peking duck - i, the supposedly adventurous one, wanted to stick to fried rice. In the end, we had both. i didn't like the peking duck - it was bland. i was supposed to have it wrapped in the pancakes along with spring onion, cucumber and a sinister looking sauce. i got scared of the sauce, foregoed the duck and ended up eating all the cucumber strips!
So we braved the silly weather and went hunting for chinatown. My intentions were more culinary than touristy - i wanted to see if i could lay my hands on mustard leaves and chives and generally check out if i could recognise half of the things on display - which is one thing i love doing when i go to oriental stores.
So there we were, searching for this shop i saw on the net. Eagle-eyed creatures as we both are, we passed by it without noticing it, walked the whole length of chinatown (thank god, it was not big or i would have died) and came back to square one only to find the shop there!
i was over the moon to find so many vegetables and herbs from back home - ekaithabi (water weed), tenou maanbi (winged beans), awa phadigom, hanggam (mustard)...i was so excited, like a kid in a candy shop. After i circled the shop some 10 times, he had to drag me away! We bought veggies and duck - my favourite meat. Then we went for lunch at this chinese restuarant where they had peking ducks hanging in a row on the display window along with a squid. He wanted to have peking duck - i, the supposedly adventurous one, wanted to stick to fried rice. In the end, we had both. i didn't like the peking duck - it was bland. i was supposed to have it wrapped in the pancakes along with spring onion, cucumber and a sinister looking sauce. i got scared of the sauce, foregoed the duck and ended up eating all the cucumber strips!
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
A beautiful mind
The other day, they showed this movie on TV. I have read the book, thanks to Babachou who is my guide when it comes to books, and i quite enjoyed it. Somehow, movie adaptations of books always leave me cold and the fact that Russel Crowe played John Nash in the movie did nothing to entice me to watch it. He somehow did not seem capable of playing a schizophrenic Mathematician after watching him in Gladiator - ok, unfair because i only managed to stand 5 minutes of that film because it was gory.
Anyway, he wanted to watch it. He, to balance this relationship i suppose, does not like reading. He is the type who would download audio or video tapes just to save himself the trouble of reading! And i am the kind who would rather hug a book to sleep (or death).
OK, where was i? OK, the movie. It was a late night movie and since nothing interesting was there on the other channels worth fighting for the remote, we watched it. i, for a change, was nice enough to watch it along with him because i know it is no fun watching movies on your own - at least i don't enjoy watching movies alone. So kind of me. i really can be an angel at times!
And i actually ended up liking the movie. Maybe because i don't remember much of the book version!! Schizophrenia is such a frightening disease. Imagine conjuring up people and thinking they were real, when you cannot separate the real world from the imaginary, when you see non-existent things and people. Given the illusional/delusional world i sometimes inhibit, i believe i am an ideal candidate for it. i got spared somehow. Or maybe i just went beyond it and came out clean on the other side. One of the symptoms is loss of train of thoughts. My thinking process always keep getting derailed, or rather it branches off in myraid directions till i lose track of the original thought. hmmm...
Anyway, he wanted to watch it. He, to balance this relationship i suppose, does not like reading. He is the type who would download audio or video tapes just to save himself the trouble of reading! And i am the kind who would rather hug a book to sleep (or death).
OK, where was i? OK, the movie. It was a late night movie and since nothing interesting was there on the other channels worth fighting for the remote, we watched it. i, for a change, was nice enough to watch it along with him because i know it is no fun watching movies on your own - at least i don't enjoy watching movies alone. So kind of me. i really can be an angel at times!
And i actually ended up liking the movie. Maybe because i don't remember much of the book version!! Schizophrenia is such a frightening disease. Imagine conjuring up people and thinking they were real, when you cannot separate the real world from the imaginary, when you see non-existent things and people. Given the illusional/delusional world i sometimes inhibit, i believe i am an ideal candidate for it. i got spared somehow. Or maybe i just went beyond it and came out clean on the other side. One of the symptoms is loss of train of thoughts. My thinking process always keep getting derailed, or rather it branches off in myraid directions till i lose track of the original thought. hmmm...
..the gypsy returns
After precisely 4 months and 10 days, i come out of hibernation. Why i went into it in the first place i have no idea - that is one of the things that makes me me! It is just like the time i decided not to touch aerated drinks ever - not so much for health reasons but just to test myself because i was so fond of it. How do you reason with such perfect logic?
4 months and 10 days, here i am - jobless, clueless but hopefully not aimless! i gave up my job without even ensuring i have something to fall back on - so typical of me. And that too in the current hopeless market! It was to follow him to another country - not his fault, i wanted to get away from life and he indulged me. You know, sometimes i breeze through life behaving as if everything would work out for me, that nothing could go wrong. Did i expect to land a job? Yes - i have so inflated a sense of confidence in myself! i was a bit disappointed when nothing worked out the first two weeks - i have been "unemployed" for exactly a month now. There is something to be said about waking up to days when you know you will have nothing to do, no worries about getting late for office, eating lunch at 3, taking your bath at 4, watching quiz shows after quiz shows!
i have decided not to try for a job. Just sit at home and vegetate. And write. i am trying my hands at freelance writing and getting quite a kick out of it. i got myself registered at this site where i had to take a grammar test (the questions made me feel as if they were expecting someone semi-illiterate!) and write a review on Frank Kafka's A country doctor. It was fun, i got selected (was there any doubt about it?) and i have successfully written and delivered three articles - the topic ranging from a summary of an article on the effect of plucking whiskers of rats on layer IV and V neurons (i completed it in about 5 hours - actually wrote a summary of an article that i could not make head or tail of which speaks volumes of my writing skills!!!!) to an article on Hashimoto's thyroiditis (an autoimmune disease).
You know, life is funny. It takes you to places you never thought you would frequent, situations you never thought you would be in. The sum total of all these experiences - is that what would make up the meaning of life? Is accepting things as they come the key to happiness? They say you have to fight to get the things you want. The trouble is trying to figure out what is worth fighting for. Sometimes i wonder whether this is the start of a new beginning - and that makes me feel it is useless to be frustrated about not having a job. i miss the project, i miss nagging the kids. Sometimes, i worry about how things are without me. But i guess there is a sense of detachment setting in. Maybe it was time to let go. Maybe i will find my new calling. And maybe, just maybe, this restlessness inside me will subside.
i don't know whether i would go back not to not wanting to share my thoughts. Or maybe i will be like old times and pour out my tales of woe to anyone who would care to read.
4 months and 10 days, here i am - jobless, clueless but hopefully not aimless! i gave up my job without even ensuring i have something to fall back on - so typical of me. And that too in the current hopeless market! It was to follow him to another country - not his fault, i wanted to get away from life and he indulged me. You know, sometimes i breeze through life behaving as if everything would work out for me, that nothing could go wrong. Did i expect to land a job? Yes - i have so inflated a sense of confidence in myself! i was a bit disappointed when nothing worked out the first two weeks - i have been "unemployed" for exactly a month now. There is something to be said about waking up to days when you know you will have nothing to do, no worries about getting late for office, eating lunch at 3, taking your bath at 4, watching quiz shows after quiz shows!
i have decided not to try for a job. Just sit at home and vegetate. And write. i am trying my hands at freelance writing and getting quite a kick out of it. i got myself registered at this site where i had to take a grammar test (the questions made me feel as if they were expecting someone semi-illiterate!) and write a review on Frank Kafka's A country doctor. It was fun, i got selected (was there any doubt about it?) and i have successfully written and delivered three articles - the topic ranging from a summary of an article on the effect of plucking whiskers of rats on layer IV and V neurons (i completed it in about 5 hours - actually wrote a summary of an article that i could not make head or tail of which speaks volumes of my writing skills!!!!) to an article on Hashimoto's thyroiditis (an autoimmune disease).
You know, life is funny. It takes you to places you never thought you would frequent, situations you never thought you would be in. The sum total of all these experiences - is that what would make up the meaning of life? Is accepting things as they come the key to happiness? They say you have to fight to get the things you want. The trouble is trying to figure out what is worth fighting for. Sometimes i wonder whether this is the start of a new beginning - and that makes me feel it is useless to be frustrated about not having a job. i miss the project, i miss nagging the kids. Sometimes, i worry about how things are without me. But i guess there is a sense of detachment setting in. Maybe it was time to let go. Maybe i will find my new calling. And maybe, just maybe, this restlessness inside me will subside.
i don't know whether i would go back not to not wanting to share my thoughts. Or maybe i will be like old times and pour out my tales of woe to anyone who would care to read.
Friday, November 21, 2008
thoughts and more thoughts
We are all getting tripped up trying to think up of a good name for our company. As unreal as it seems to me, it looks like we are really going to take the plunge. What started as a joke is fast becoming a reality. Oh great! i am going to become the business-woman-of-the-year some years from now!! We are going to rake in the moolah. It sure is fun to be so ignorant of the pitfalls that wait for us on the way to success.
On a culinary high, for the first time in my life i prepared chagem pomba - one of my fave manipuri dishes. My sister came back from home loaded with things - veggies, hawaizar, soibum, nga ayaiba and whatnots. Following the instructions from mom dear on the phone, i attempted the dish and got it right!! It tastes just like the way Ema cooks it - ok, not quite like it but very, very close! Which made me very happy. The fridge is stuffed with ingredients for eromba and we are going to gorge and thrive on pure manipuri food for some days to come. Bliss!
And work. i have been toying with the idea of leaving the job - but not quite been able to cut the umblical cord. i love this project, am getting too attached to it which makes me feel i should leave. But then i worry about how things would be without me - concieted bitch that i am.
Life is so funny at times that you forget to laugh.
On a culinary high, for the first time in my life i prepared chagem pomba - one of my fave manipuri dishes. My sister came back from home loaded with things - veggies, hawaizar, soibum, nga ayaiba and whatnots. Following the instructions from mom dear on the phone, i attempted the dish and got it right!! It tastes just like the way Ema cooks it - ok, not quite like it but very, very close! Which made me very happy. The fridge is stuffed with ingredients for eromba and we are going to gorge and thrive on pure manipuri food for some days to come. Bliss!
And work. i have been toying with the idea of leaving the job - but not quite been able to cut the umblical cord. i love this project, am getting too attached to it which makes me feel i should leave. But then i worry about how things would be without me - concieted bitch that i am.
Life is so funny at times that you forget to laugh.
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