..the gypsy returns

After precisely 4 months and 10 days, i come out of hibernation. Why i went into it in the first place i have no idea - that is one of the things that makes me me! It is just like the time i decided not to touch aerated drinks ever - not so much for health reasons but just to test myself because i was so fond of it. How do you reason with such perfect logic?

4 months and 10 days, here i am - jobless, clueless but hopefully not aimless! i gave up my job without even ensuring i have something to fall back on - so typical of me. And that too in the current hopeless market! It was to follow him to another country - not his fault, i wanted to get away from life and he indulged me. You know, sometimes i breeze through life behaving as if everything would work out for me, that nothing could go wrong. Did i expect to land a job? Yes - i have so inflated a sense of confidence in myself! i was a bit disappointed when nothing worked out the first two weeks - i have been "unemployed" for exactly a month now. There is something to be said about waking up to days when you know you will have nothing to do, no worries about getting late for office, eating lunch at 3, taking your bath at 4, watching quiz shows after quiz shows!

i have decided not to try for a job. Just sit at home and vegetate. And write. i am trying my hands at freelance writing and getting quite a kick out of it. i got myself registered at this site where i had to take a grammar test (the questions made me feel as if they were expecting someone semi-illiterate!) and write a review on Frank Kafka's A country doctor. It was fun, i got selected (was there any doubt about it?) and i have successfully written and delivered three articles - the topic ranging from a summary of an article on the effect of plucking whiskers of rats on layer IV and V neurons (i completed it in about 5 hours - actually wrote a summary of an article that i could not make head or tail of which speaks volumes of my writing skills!!!!) to an article on Hashimoto's thyroiditis (an autoimmune disease).

You know, life is funny. It takes you to places you never thought you would frequent, situations you never thought you would be in. The sum total of all these experiences - is that what would make up the meaning of life? Is accepting things as they come the key to happiness? They say you have to fight to get the things you want. The trouble is trying to figure out what is worth fighting for. Sometimes i wonder whether this is the start of a new beginning - and that makes me feel it is useless to be frustrated about not having a job. i miss the project, i miss nagging the kids. Sometimes, i worry about how things are without me. But i guess there is a sense of detachment setting in. Maybe it was time to let go. Maybe i will find my new calling. And maybe, just maybe, this restlessness inside me will subside.

i don't know whether i would go back not to not wanting to share my thoughts. Or maybe i will be like old times and pour out my tales of woe to anyone who would care to read.