And so on a Wednesday morning, i brushed away the cobwebs in my head and logged in to work…not that anyone seems to have missed me much - just what was needed for an already bruised ego…
After trying to remember the 1001 passwords needed to log in to god knows what applications, weeding mails and tossing them unread into some obscure folders, i settled down to sulk with the laptop in front. It is a good thing we are still working from home because i have zero desire to see anyone or have anyone see me…C called me up - i guess she wanted to cheer me up- but i did not pick up and messaged her i did not want to talk. The rate i am going, i think i will lose the minuscule number of people i call friends.
I did manage to get some work done and logged off at an indecently early hour to sulk some more and plug the emptiness inside me with some raspberry filled biscuits from Ikea washed down with green tea…such is my life…
And i watched videos on Sahara desert and Antarctica (such is the state of my brain that i had to look up the spelling)…and thought how brave some people are..and why people like me should not dream because all i do is dream and not see it through…i am a hypocrite and a gutless bitch- not a nice combination…
I have enough fabric in my closet to protect the modesty of 20045 Draupadis if i were Krishna - i should seriously start sewing and using them up but i cannot get myself to turn on the sewing machine…
It is raining as i type this - i love the rain, i love (and hate) how it reminds me of days gone by..i want to go walk in the rain, feel the tears mingle with the rain drops…do you think each one of us is assigned a finite amount of tears? I would like to think i am nearing the end of my quota of tears. I would like to reserve some for the day i die - if nobody cries for me when i fade away (which makes me sound like a star), i might as well cry for myself…i have no idea what junk i am writing…
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