Attended my first “Management Team” meeting yesterday. And realized how much more shit i have to deal with. Having to sit through 1 ½ hr long presentation, trying to make sense of it all – the business forecast, the ramp-up, the projects in pipeline. What did i get myself into? i am happier coding, (mis)guiding kids, playing the bully than listening to all theory-no practice preaching.
Which makes me think i am not ambitious at all. i am too laid back. Or maybe my priorities are different. If i ask myself what really i want in life, i know it is not climbing up the corporate ladder. i love my work but i am not too concerned about where i am in the pecking order. i guess i must be the only one in the whole company who has never asked for a salary raise or a promotion!
The big question – what do i want in life? i know for sure what i don’t want but i am finding it difficult to specify what i really want. i want to be happy – but happiness is such a tricky state of mind. i can be happy with just a book. Am i happy now? Yes. Will i be happy tomorrow? Depends. Materialistically speaking, if i ask myself what i want, i cannot think of anything. i cannot understand why i am so uninterested in clothes, jewellery or anything of that sort. i am no sanyasi - i just cannot understand this streak in me. i just am not interested.
But i want to travel and travel, i want to sky-dive again. i want to learn new recipes. i want to start making my candles again. i want to learn pottery and glass-painting. i want to learn kung-fu. And most of all, i want to sleep.
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11 comments:
You are a true gypsy then.
Never having asked for a raise or a promotion, means you have probably 1 less promotion over the years, and 15-30% lesser salary than otherwise. Gutfeel, don't ask me to explain..
But being this way is just great, you know. You say you can be happy with just a book. Is that not great. Who needs ulcers worrying over the next promotion if you can be happy with something so much ***in your own control***.
Cliched talk again, but you want to just live life, rather than be caught up in the rat race. Admirable, and enviable (I have this streak of jealousy you see).
Kungfu, kinda raises a laugh - for reasons unconnected with you. Reminds me of kungfu panda the movie. And come to think of it, even KFP had a message - there is no 'secret ingredient' whether to soup or life - the secret ingredient is YOU, and what you make of it.
Don't fret over the things you want to do - you will do them, or you will do some others.. And yes, you will get to sleep - at the right time..
And yes, you will be happy, not only today, but tomorrow as well.
PS - if you really want to be able to sleep on the job, you might want the financial meltdown to start affecting all sectors, so all the power points being presented go wrong; all projections haywire; and yr company starts pulling back on growth numbers.
A matter of time before the IT cos are affected, if the doomsday predictions are to be believed. Ofcourse some of the biggies might just grow bigger/ stronger, one never knows.
@matter: i never did have any doubt about being a gypsy at heart!
i know. But what is 15% or 1 less promotion in the bigger scheme of life? i am happy with the work i do, with what they pay me. And that is what matters to me the most.
It is true that i don't see any point in being a part of the rat race. Maybe because i know i don't have the "attitude" for it. i would rather be in a race with myself.
i loved Kung Fu Panda. Have watched it twice. Yeah, life is what we make out of it.
i don't want to be happy always, actually. i find it fun to be morose sometimes!
And no, i don't want to be sleeping on the job. Who will nag and bully the kids then?
ha ha..first management meeting :). this is not even the tip of the ice berg. OHH my there is lots of fun in management meeting :). enjoy them
Hi,browsing blogs and came here via does not matter.
A
@ Gypsy
I too watched KFP twice.. mainly to get to the deeper meaning of life, and smiles/ laughs on the way!
Btw, why am I unable to see your blog I MISS MY CANDLES.. ?
http://gypsynupi.blogspot.com/2008/10/i-miss-my-candles.html
@ A
You know what they say about management meetings - they are very important, coz they leave the rest of the organisation free to get some real work done!
@A: Thanks for dropping by. i guess i will take my pad along and doodle next time!
@matter: i watched it for the escape scene - Tai Lan (or whatever, the leopard) escaping. Awesome!
i deleted it because i realised that i had posted the same picture long time back! Hee hee
Rooting for evil, someone is!
Yes, i think it was named Tai Lun..
I actually was struck by the entire sequence of events - the turtle's warning, Shifu's sending the messenger, the feather falling, and everything after that. It kinda screams - Que Sera Sera.
Oh, I thought the candles melted, probably triggered by the global meltdown..
:)
Hi...I read ur blog often and I think its one of the most interesting blogs I follow...I share a lot of ur feelings "on wants/need"...I really do not think being not ambitious is= being laid back...it might just mean one is too happy with life..
@travel:
Thank you.
In my case, it is a matter of being laid back. As to whether it might mean i am too happy with life, happiness is too transient a state of mind to judge/measure.
like the way u write... reading through ur older posts... neat stuff.
@shoe girl: Thank you for dropping by.
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