driving myself crazy

i hate the clutch. i hate the accelerator and the brake. After more than 2 years, i tried my hands at driving again. He, most graciously, agreed to be my driving guru.

Saturday morning, 7 a.m., the alarm went off. Dragging ourselves up from sleep, we drove off to find a deserted place where we could start without me mowing down anyone.
He tried to get me familiar with those three stupid pedals – A, B and C. The first day went off pretty well – i did everything he wanted me to - turned corners, reversed etc. i was pleased. He was pleased.

Sunday. We found another relatively secluded stretch of road. Trouble struck. i started the car and it moved one inch and stopped. It happened like 10 times! He said i was not “coordinating” the accelerator and clutch right. He grew exasperated. i sulked and sat with my hands on my lap, trying to “murder” the stupid car with my deadliest looks. He told me sweetly to have patience and try again. Patience. My foot. This time, i concentrated like I have never before and it worked. The car moved! Things did not go smooth.

He: There is someone coming in front. Brake.
i pressed my foot down on the accelerator. He nearly had a heart attack i think. i recovered in time to press down hard on the brake but forgot the clutch. The car stopped. i did not end up killing anyone, thank god.

A bump on the road and i accelerate.
He: Why did you accelerate? Did you want the car to fly? (Sarcastic %$$%%^).
i (sheepishly grinning): i wanted to brake so i accelerated. (What?!!).

After one excruciating hour, i told him i wanted to go home. My legs hurt from pressing down too hard on the clutch. And i was perspiring like a pig. And i was thinking “i will just hire a driver to drive me around rather than drive myself and make my nerves fry”.

i was supposed to go today morning too. The alarm went off and he woke me up but i coaxed him into going back to sleep! Tomorrow, i hope the pedals will treat me better. If not, i am going to swear off driving. i would rather walk. And Grapes are so sour.