sunday solitude

Another day spent without seeing another human face - apart from those on TV - i am quite enjoying this solitude. Was thinking maybe i would spend the next weekend without turning on the TV, with just my books to see how total solitude feels like. Is this healthy? But once in a while, i think it is great just to be all alone, with my thoughts for company - talking to myself, smiling at myself in the mirror and actually liking what/who stares back at me!

i gorged on and completed another book - A mind to murder - not actually thought provoking stuff but what the heck! Solitude and crime. Does solitude breed criminal thoughts? Not that any of my thoughts, well, at least today's thoughts, bordered on the criminal. But i was wondering if i, say, spend a month like this, would i become insane? Or would i achieve nirvana? Maybe i would end up penning a "how to be all alone and not be lonely" kind of bestseller. i think i am already on my way to a loony bin!

i am planning to give the driving test exam tomorrow. Not too keen on driving here but it has been ages since i gave an exam and i want to see whether i would flunk. i have not even read the manual but some previous question sheets. The other night i dreamed i was going to give an exam and i had not even completed reading the book. i was scared shit! i mean, when i was a kid, i gave exams after two-three rounds of revision because getting the highest marks was the only thing in my head then. These days, the only thing on my mind is - blank. A nice peaceful kind of blank.

Maybe that is the beauty of solitude - it cleanses your mind. Of everything. And leaves it spanking clean for you to start all over again. What more fun than to corrupt a blank mind all over again.

sat night ....

Finally managed to drag myself up from bed at 2 in the afternoon. Ema will have a fit if she hears about it! Had pancakes and a croissant for lunch....got back to bed again to finish a book -cold and pure and very dead - yes, that is the name of the book. Had bhelpuri smothered with aloo...

Called up my sis and talked to her about 2 hours. After we finally managed to get off the phone, i was wondering what we talked about non-stop for so long. It is about everything and nothing-gossip of the family, who is doing what, who said what to whom, who is going where. Then the TV going-ons - what is happening in which serial, who got booted out in Indian Idol..Then bollywood news-did i know bipasha broke up with john, did she know lara has broken up with dorji! And himesh, how wooden he is, who are the people watching his movie....blah blah and more blah. Girls!!

S's parents are going back earlier than planned as his thakuma is sick. the poor guy was so depressed. i told him to tell kakima i will come over and cook briyani for them before they leave. Trying to show off my culinary skills! shesh...

i had half boiled eggs for dinner. i think i just might transform into a twig by the time i go back. god, if he comes to know, i will get an earful.

talking in my sleep...?

after 12 in the morning and i am still in bed...i think if i sleep some more i just might turn into sleeping beauty/bitch!

With the curtains drawn, i can never make out how it is outside - it feels like night 24 hours!

And for the want of anything better to do, here i am, with tousled hair, blogging about nothing. Am i sleep-talking?

i got up because i was expecting a mail from him. Was not disappointed. Now, maybe it is time to go to sleep again...

back in bloggerland

Finally got my laptop. Spent 3 days without it as they needed to re-encrypt the Id. With the company going public, they say it is only going to get stricter. i spent 3 days holed up in my cubicle reading red dragon..Sorta being on a paid vacation. But it was frustrating what with everyone around you slogging their you-know-what off.

Landed here on a cloudy evening. The place has not changed..maybe it is just that i have not changed. S came to pick me up at the airport. Was welcomed with kochu diye ilish mach, moong dal, begun bhaja...Now that is quite a welcome.

i am staying in a studio suite and i don't feel like cooking. So i got myself all the frozen food i could lay my hands on - frozen roti, aloo paratha, onion paratha, pancakes, fried rice, chicken nuggets, chicken tikka, chole....And now i am wondering whether i can finish everything i bought. So like me to waste. And i went to the library to get my quota of books. Don't know whether it reflects my state of mind but half of the books have to do with murder! Murder on my mind.

i don't know whether i would go out of my mind staying alone - i declined an invitation because i don't particularly feel like socialising, esp with people i barely know or want to know. i hate those empty talks and fake smiles. But i am looking forward to dinner at p-da's place next weekeend.

i am back to watching re-runs of sex and the city and my fave crime serials. i would like to do a course on criminal psychology. But i am scared of field work cause i cannot stand the sight of blood. i go wobbly when i see blood. And to think this is the same person who dived out of a plane some thousand feet up! To the contradiction that is i...amen

groggy in singapore...

Still groggy from sleep. Landed here at around 4 in the morning-the time of the night when i am still in dreamland. Managed to find the lounge all by myself-which i manage to miss every single time and i have to ask for directions some nth time to find it. Curled up and slept blissfully. Have 6+ hours to kill before i catch the connecting flight....Traveling alone sure is fun.

Planning to go shopping for jeans - i get nice fit here...And maybe find another cosy corner and finish my book....Hoping to have a pleasant flight and praying that the seat next to me is empty. If there is one thing i can't stand, it is people trying to strike up a conversation...

Got a haircut yesterday--a new style and, if i may say so myself, i am looking good and feeling good. Now, that is not a crime, is it???