office politics

i am a real apolitical creature. Office politics leaves me cold. i have always tried to steer clear of it. As it is, with my outspokeness, i can never be politically correct. But i don't want to be politically correct, i just want to say what i feel instead of wrapping it up in niceties or dumping the thoughts in a corner. It is not that i am unaware of what goes on, it is just that i am not interested in it. i just want to do my job well and leave it at that. In my 6 years over here, i have never kowtowed to anyone. Yes, i am arrogant, yes, i rub up people the wrong way, i don't conform to the rules...Maybe, like my friend says, i am not professional, in the sense that i live in my own world, do my own thing...i am good at what i do and i get paid for that. And that is all that counts to me.

Why am i raving and ranting about this? Because, unwillingly, i am getting dragged into their politics.i don't want to enter their world, where i cannot say what i feel, where stupid ideas float around just because it is suggested by someone higher up. i would never survive in that environment.

No more dark thoughts. i finished one MB yesterday night! It has been ages since i read one.You know how it is, the girl as beautiful as beautiful can be, the guy so incredibly hot and rich,the fights and the last pages where all misunderstandings are wiped clear! Cheap thrills.That is what i get from MBs. i don't like the new generation of romance novels, maybe because they are so explicit. i rather dig the subtle play of words in the older ones though some ofthe love scenes (like sky exploding into a thousand peices when they climax! What!!) are definitely funny.

The song from the movie "Honeymoon private ltd" (or something like that) - "aisa mera pyar he"has been buzzing in my head and i find myself breaking into that song. There is nothing great about it but somehow... i have been driving my sis crazy singing it and dancing like KK Menon! Not a prettysight...:)

i am a sparrow...(???)

Last week has been pretty fulfilling...Met the deadline with a day to spare (how i love myself!)...There was a production call - the kind we are always wary of-dumps in production. i was asked to join in. And no one on the problem bridge could figure out what was happening. And when you have the big guys asking what is wrong and rushing you, well, that kinda gets your goat. We spent about 3 hours, trying out different theories. i was confused because things were not making sense. So i decided to go step by step logically...And presto, i figured out why it was happening. oh, sometimes i just can't help falling in love with myself! Just kidding...:)

Spent the weekend running around trying to gather documents i need for my tax rebate. God, this time of the year sure is nasty. It is scary the amount i have to shell out as tax. i know, i know, all that stuff about paying back to the country
and all that. i was just wondering whether anybody in Manipur (apart from central govt employees) pay tax.

Spent yesterday acting as the maid. Literally got down on the knees and scrubbed the floors. Was almost 4 by the time i got all the chores done.The computer conked out again so spent the time watching TV. Watched "Maine pyar kiya" (so mushy, i swear) and "Ek hasina thi". Then decided to skip rice for dinner and had maggi instead.

Had a project lunch today. My stomach has been feeling queasy so i ate like a sparrow. And i feel like a sparrow. Whatever that means.

The unmade bed

Completed the book. The ending was not what i had hoped for. The story is about " love between a man and a woman". The woman is a famous actress who has no qualms about changing lovers. She has a brief fling with the guy and dumps him for a director. Five years later, the guy, who is now a budding playwright, and who has not been able to get over her, professes his love for her again. And they pick up from where they left. The guy is completely and hopelessly in love with her. But she considers it just like another affair, to be ended when it is convenient. She gives in to physical temptation and sleeps around but even when he finds out, he stays devoted to her. In the end, she falls in love with him. And the story ends on that note. i so wanted the guy to get over her.

Love is such a strange emotion. And that is such an inane conclusion.

nuggets from a wonderful book

"It is one of love's greatest charms that you no longer wonder what am i doing here but you think what can i do to stay here'
---The unmade bed by Francoise Sagan

Only halfway through but the story is rivetting...a story of love, of jealousy....Will write about it when i am done with it. But i just love it..love it for the all-so-real emotions...Or maybe i have been too long without getting intoxicated by words........

Just another "allergic" monday

New place. New cubicle. A cosy corner with a nice view. Same old company. Same old colleagues. A running nose. And a bad case of dust allergy...Some way to welcome monday.

Went to the airport to see my family off. But they did not let visitors inside for security reasons (maybe 'cause Republic day is approaching?)A bit sad to see them go but they would come again in March before i fly away to another nest. So there...

Deadlines again. Need to complete my code before thursday. Great. Serves me right for taking it easy. Now, girl, you have to slog your ass off.

Have been having these numbing headaches. The kind that makes you want to tear your hair off. Maybe i should just shave my head!

The book fair is coming. This time, i am going to buy the collection of Maugham's short stories. How i love that man. i am going to go there all alone and browse to my little black heart's content. And buy books and books...oohhhh..the ecstacy...But i will miss him. He is not much of a book lover..but i do try to make him read some good ones...