purdah he purdah

i never thought setting up a house/home would be this painful and expensive.i find my bank accounts emptying at a rate that is scaring me. i spent almost 10k on curtains. i console myself with the thought that i should have the best i can afford. But 10K on curtains?? i feel so very guilty about it. i could have donated some of that money to CRY. But what is the use crying over spilt milk?

The painting is complete so is the work on the kitchen cabinets. i must say the kitchen looks stunning. i still have to shop for furniture. i am planning to buy wrought iron furniture. They look so elegant. And more kind on my pocket!

The bank stuff is over. i just need to get the flat registered before i move in.
And that should be by next week. At long last.

Weekend errands

The weekend was a busy one. i finally decided on the colours - golden apple and
sunrise for the living cum dining room, light green for the kitchen, pink for the passage, pink and mauve for the first bedroom, satin blue and dewdrop for the second bedroom, blue and pink for the bathroom. Ema and my sisters were, i guess, a bit apprehensive about how it would end up looking like. To be honest, even i am petrified. Well, there is nothing much i can do about it as i have already bought the paints. So i just have to wait. i went and bought all the electric fittings on saturday. And burned a hole in my pocket. ouch.

The painting would be over by this weekend. And provided i get the registration done, i should be be shifting by next week. The bank, just to prove me wrong, is being a pain in you-know-where. The guy was all sugar and honey. He said my profile is very good and that i am on the top of the list of loans to be sanctioned by this month! Pray tell me what good is that if i don't get the sanction letter? i am getting frustrated.

This whole process, tiring as it is, has been a nice experience for me. i mean, i find it satisfying doing all the things by myself.

mess...

i am such a disorganised person that it irks me no end. i just cannot seem to organise my things. My room is a mess most of the time, with my bed piled up with mags, books and oddities. And everytime i need something,i have to really go through a "treasure-hunt". This topic surfaced because i have misplaced a pen drive containing some project data!! How irresponsible..i was there in the middle of the night yesterday trying to figure out where i have kept the damned thing. In the process, i found the pearl earrings he gave me for valentine's day (and which i thought i had lost), the beautiful seiko watch my friend gave for my birthday, the i-pod i have not even bothered to use, the CD player he got me from his trip to Japan....all gathering dust. i was kinda sad thinking about how i never seem to treasure things except, maybe, my books. i ought to be hanged.

i am in a really unhealthy state of mind..irritable,bitchy..But then, what is new about that.

Yesterday i was chatting with one of my juniors at work. This is a kid who finds my sense of humour and sarcasm admirable! She once made me blush like a beetroot when she gushed about how much she likes me at the company picnic (Of course, i was flattered and embarassed, in that order). We were talking about dreams and the meaning of our existence. Dreams and beliefs. About how much it hurts when you have to go against your belief just to make people you love happy. My beliefs, thoughts and dreams are so different from everybody else around that i feel like an alien sometimes. i have always lived with that feeling of never being understood by anyone, maybe except a few of my friends. And i have come to accept that as the price for being different. So once in a while, it is refreshing to talk with people with similar beliefs.

Blue or red??

Teething problems. My new baby's. Of course, i am talking about my apartment.
i am about to throw up my hands in despair and abandon it. i have decided to get the apartment painted before we move in.i have been nagging my sister to choose the colours for her room and she keeps whining how difficult it is to make a choice what with all the different shades in the pallette. i still have to think up of some fascinating colour combo. i am scared the apartment might end up looking like one of those modern art pictures! i am going to paint the doors myself. And of course, the guy who is right doing the job is charging too much. i am an idiot, of course,
for having said yes without doing any research. Now i guess i have to change the painters. What a mess i say.

All i can think about now is how i am going to decorate the new place. Maybe get a wrought iron dining set and satiny curtains!! And maybe survive on water and bread after that!! i am fascinated with the idea of having a bonsai in the living room. Where do i get one? i am thinking of trying to cultivate this art. Something new to do. Ok, let that be on my things-to-learn list.

If we could.....

If we could live our lives again
Would we the same?

Would you say the same things to charm me?

Would i still believe you
When you say i am beautiful like the sunset?

Would you still think i am witch to charm you so?

Would you still go away
knowing you will never come back to me?