dance with me, baby....

Now S and i have decided to do an ‘item number’ for the company annual day party – don’t know when it would be but it is usually held in December. We decided we would practice at home – he with his wife and i with my man. He does not know how to dance. i was teaching him a few steps of salsa yesterday. He was like “You are really moving your hips”! He stepped on my toes a couple of times – good thing we were dancing barefoot!

Of course, S’ and my item number might never materialize. i think everyone in the company will be shell-shocked to see us dancing. Plus we don’t know dancing that well to give a performance. But still we have been telling all the kids to join us and be the extras dancing in the background!

S and i have been really backbiting – i am getting frustrated with the quality of work the youngsters are delivering. Now that i am in charge, i don’t want anyone delivering anything less than prefect. So the reviews have become stringent. i know i am going to end up being unpopular but that is the least of my worries. i really like this project – i like the challenges it provides so it gets my goat to see people treating work so lightly. Am i transforming into a perfectionist?! Not likely in this lifetime.

Audit woe-dit

The good news first. Our company is going through the annual ISO audits. And i was scared our project would get selected. We had the opening meeting today – and the guy who is leading the audit is, umm impressive but a bit on the ‘paka’ type. He seems to have done all the certifications possible – VC++, Visual Basic, Oracle. i was impressed, albeit reluctantly. The good news is not the guy but the fact that our project did not get selected for audit. i literally jumped with joy when i came to know about it! i had been jittery about facing the audit.

The weekend was a mixture of moods – Saturday saw me morose what with the mega-fight i had with him. We were both nasty with each other – this relationship has too much passion with the end result that it spills over sometimes and leaves us scorched. i was almost ready to throw in the towel and call it quits – my patience and tolerance level is on an all-time low. i know he is going through a tough time and i am not helping any. Anyway, we did manage to cool down enough to patch up and manage to spend the weekend without stepping on each other’s toes. In fact, we had a good time yesterday. Went to the bank to open a joint account, did some shopping and had a hearty lunch of kangsoi and my special fried chicken. We even did some cleaning up together without coming to blows! And after a long time we played ludo – it is our favourite game. We use it to decide who will do the various chores! Yesterday, we played for old times’ sake. And i beat him hands down! Sometimes, this guy exasperates me. Sometimes, he drives me crazy with his TLC.

i want to take a long break and go on a journey – all by myself. Cut myself off from everyone and just take a plunge into the unknown. i have been getting more frustrated with the kids – they are beginning to bug me with their casual attitude. Oh hell, does it really matter? Does anything matters at the end of it all? i need a long break – from everything.

drama queen

Well, the drama continues. Yesterday, i had made up my mind that i would go back to my place if i didn’t hear from him. His flight was supposed to land somewhere around 4 in the evening. Yesterday was, as usual, another hectic day what with overseeing the juniors and trying to complete my own tasks. In one sense it was good as i didn’t have time to mull over why he didn’t call me up. Well, around 5:30, he did call me up. He wanted to know how soon i would be able to leave office and come. i acted cold (which comes naturally to me!) and told him i would come after i was done with everything. After running after the kids to get everything out and sending the status report, it was almost 6 by the time i was ready to call it a day. Pervert that i am, i dilly-dallied in the office so it was almost 7 by the time i reached his place. He knew i was miffed at him so he didn’t act cold. In fact, the silly guy was giving me his best smiles! But it takes more than some sweet smiles to soothe my ruffled feathers.

i am still sore at him. i know i am behaving like a kid. But hell, that is me. Take it or leave it.

love's labour not lost???

He is coming today. Am i excited? Well, we had a fight yesterday so i am trying to curb my enthusiasm about it. i didn’t even call him up to wish him happy journey. i know i am being petty, which i am.

Yesterday was a bandh over here. So i stayed over at his place which is about 10 minutes walking distance from my office. Slogged my ass off in the office the whole day. Just because he was coming today, i took the trouble of going back to my place after office, got my things and replenished his kitchen supplies. i don’t know why (OK, maybe because i was not in the mood to talk to him) but he thought i didn’t want to tidy up his place for him – it has been lying unlived for about a year now. Now, i really got irritated at him for jumping to conclusions (he must have been a rabbit in his last incarnation). So i told him he can stay there all by himself. i thought i would just take my things and go back to my place. But i thought of him coming home all tired and having to clean up. For a change, i didn’t up and go but decided to do what i had come to do. i stayed up till 1 in the night. By the time i was done, i was ready to drop down dead. i don’t know whether to stay angry with him or make up.

S sent over a bag for me and the earphones for my iPod (i manage to lose it within 2 days of using it!). He is a sweetheart – well, i always bully him but he has never been anything but nice to me. In fact, he is someone who will always insist on being nice even when i am mean to him – he says he cannot be angry with me no matter how much i provoke him. Ummm…

monday gripe

i am turning out to be a real pain-in-the-ass senior for the kids. When i am in charge, i know they feel the pinch. But hell, i know i am doing the right thing. i have never demanded of them what i cannot or would not do. i am a casual person most of the times - i play pranks, don’t throw my weight around, not that i have much to throw but that does not mean i am less serious when it comes to work. i guess they expect to see me smiling all the time. So i guess it is a shock to them when i pull them up for their silly mistakes – which gets my blood boiling, my blood obviously has a low boiling point – or tell them off for not being disciplined enough. i do fool around in the office but i have never let my work suffer. The younger generation at work – they are driving me bitchy with their unprofessional attitude – they come in late, go for long tea breaks, and apart from a few of them, their work is sloppy, to say the least. i know i am going to be unpopular but i am going to try to change things around here – just so my blood can cool down! They are not bad kids – they just need to be shown that you can have fun and still be good at what you do. It is all about striking the right balance in life.

This reminds me of my school days. i used to be one of the naughtiest, talkative girl in school, always getting into trouble but my marks belied that. So my classmates used to think i was putting on an act of being carefree in school because they could not understand how anyone like me could top the class – i guess i was just the opposite of what they expected in a topper. My tuition teacher told my father he could not understand how someone so naughty like me could be so good at studies! i was like hell, am i supposed to be a quiet mouse just because i have brains?

My sister went home yesterday for her vacation so i am all alone. i went to see her off at the airport and she repeated the whole run-to-catch-the-flight episode – i guess this runs in my family! i went to his place (he will have another fit for not saying word ‘our place’ ) and enacted the role of a housecleaner. And i was wondering whether i was doomed to spending all my weekends cleaning up either his place or mine. M told me i have too many places i call home! Damn right.

S has been morose since morning – i was surprised that he did not start a fight with me or call me silly names just to see me fuming. When asked he told me he had a fight with his wife and she hit him with their son’s water bottle!! i was nearly in tears with laughter – god and to think i am the same person who vehemently opposed domestic violence but i know she didn’t have any malicious intent so this does not constitute domestic violence or does it? Now this has got me confused! i told him he could start a battered-husbands club.