yudho joy...

i am the kind of employee that employers love - i forget to submit claims for taxi fare, medical claims etc. As long as my salary gets deposited at the end of the month, i am OK - well, sometimes i don't even bother checking when they take a big bite out of it as tax!

So very uncharacteristic of me, when M-da told me i should claim for the taxi fare to the airport, i decided to do just so. Well, never before in my previous visits have i claimed taxi fare - for one, S always drive me to the airport and i am way too lazy to run after the HR people. But, sometimes, i get all enthusiatic about something and so, just to spice up things, i mailed the HR manager asking her to include the taxi fare in my pay check. Pat came the reply that it was not company policy! That got my goat - it is only about 30$ and i could easily forfeit it without feeling a thing - but her reply really made my blood boil---well, blood tah e haigatle. S dug up the HR policy manual wherein it was clearly stated that we were eligible to be reimbursed for transportation expenses. So i wrote a sarcastic mail, attached the document and asked her when the policy was changed. She gave up and i will get the fare- it was so fun making her eat her words!

The past few days, i have been at my argumentative and bitchy best - i have been shooting holes in other people's code, writing sarcastic mails to people who just can't seem to have enough sense to understand when things are explained to them. And i am absolutely loving this - i have been getting pretty sick of dealing with dumb people and it is so satisfying when you can take a dig at them. Maybe i am mean but hell, being mean is so fun. And ain't gonna give it up!!

cafe dhaka...

S took us out for dinner today - his treat for getting a bonus and an EC in his appraisal (EC- Exceptional Contribution but i tell him it is Exceptional chorano!). Cafe Dhaka. i decided the list of invitees - weeded out people to include only the ones i like (wickedness in my every pore). The food was OK - but somehow i never get to eat good briyani here; what is served as briyani seems more like undercooked rice with just some pieces of meat. i cook much much better briyani than any i have tasted here. The dal poori was good. More than the food, it was the adda that made the dinner special.

S is one of my closest friends. He has always been there for me through thick and thin - and i know i can count on him always. God knows why but he thinks i am special and a rare specimen. Here is to a special friend - thank you.

i am stuffed and can hardly keep the words in my head from falling asleep...i..zzzz.am..zzzz

....forgiveness

Why is it so tough to forgive? Does loving someone means that i am bound by love's ethics (if love ever has ethics) to forgive that person? Is forgiveness interwoven with love?

Is love supposed to transcend all other emotions? Is somebody's atonement reason enough to forgive or do we need time to heal before we can forgive?

dinner..dinner....

My last weekend over here, and i have been invited to dinner two nights in a row. Well, to be honest, i did ask M-da to give us a treat for his wedding anniversary while i was here - and he indulged me. Shameless me! i would be going there in a while.

Yesterday night's dinner was at S's. And of course, i planned the menu and cooked everything except for one dish. i relegated him to cutting the vegetables and cleaning up after i cooked! We started cooking at around 2 in the afernoon and in 5 hours, we were done - kelichana as entree, elish with kochu (the only dish i let S cook), mutton with posto and cashew, dal, pumpkin and mango mishti doi. i came back, showered, call up home and went back again as the guest! The food was good and it was good to see everyone stuffing themselves. We were till 2 in the night blah blahing.

Woke up around 11 today and went to walmart. My room is piling up. i need to start paking or at least stuffing the things in the suitcases (S, as alwyas, will do the final packing for me. i am so blessed - either my sister or he will pack for me when i am home- i have never really packed for myself ever. And over here, i have S.).

Oh, the casio exilim camera for baba arrived at long last. And i am floored by it. It is even better than my existing one - which i adore - and S and i ordered two more for ourselves. The pictures are amazing. i know baba is going to love it. i got a 2GB memory card for it. Memory cards are so cheap now. i remember i bought one the last time - 512 MB for around 50$. ouch...

And a funny thing happened. One of the juniors who joined recently called me up yesterday - and he called me by my name. We have this work culture of da-ing and di-ing everyone. So i was amused to hear this kid address me by my name. My sister and S said it is not his fault. i am to blame for looking so much younger than my age. This is one thing that bugs me. i know it must be every woman's dream to appear younger. But i have had people tell me i look like i was in class eight when i was in my final year in college. Would it help if i let my hair grey?

countdown...

the countdown begins for the trip back...just a week left. Called up the airlines to confirm the ticket. i would have to start packing. As always, i would have to leave behind some things - all my candles..sigh - my stuff over here is piling up. Would have to leave another of my now notorious jumbo suitcases with S. Maybe i am growing old, but i am getting tired of this constant relocating - maybe i am no more a gypsy, how disapppointing - my soul wants to settle down in a place i could call home. But i am still undecided about where home is. i am one hell of a confused bitch. One part of me wants to wander to the ends of the planet - cross the sahara, conquer mountains, brave storms - and the other part, well, it is still confused about what it wants.

Still so much things left to buy - hell, i wish i could outsource my shopping to somebody.

M is going to come with her brother to receive me since the flight is going to land at some unearthly hour in the night and i don't think travelling alone in a taxi with all the stuff at night is a good idea. My sister offered to come but i would have been more worried about her coming alone.

Am i excited? i don't know. Of course, i am looking forward to meeting everyone again, to taking up newer responsibilties at work...And i would be with him again. But somehow, i am going to miss this solitude, the pleasure of only being with my thoughts. i think i am growing too fond of myself, too much in love with myself. Narcissist. i think i want to spend a year alone - all alone. Maybe i should be marooned on an uninhabited island - with a good supply of food and books. And a wireless connection. And yes the elusive sexy mac notebook. That is all i ask for...!!