Back home after cheering the team to a win in the quarter-finals.
i am not a football fan. It is a game i don't follow - i can never figure out the fouls and corner worner. i can watch cricket and tennis because i know the rules - well, the basic at least. But football - no.
There is a football league going on - for which they cancelled the word power event i was so looking forward to win. Our project fielded three teams. SC has been after me to go and watch the matches. i refused. But his nagging skills being of legendary proportion, i was forced to give in. i warned him that it was not going to be pretty - i am given to shouting my lungs out and jumping like an idiot when i go to games, even ones i don't follow! He said fine, we will shout together.
So there i was, the lone female on the football ground, screaming my lungs out -GO, GO whenever one of our team members even ventured near the ball; OHHHHH SHITTTTTT whenever a goal was missed; clutching my head in agony when the opponent scored; jumping up and down clapping like crazy when our team scored. Looking at me, you would have thought football is my life!
Today was the quater-finals. Out of our three teams, two have made it this far - no thanks to my cheering skills! There were at least some other "birds" of my feather, oops..gender today. But they were so prim and propah - they were all watching from behind the wall while yours truly climbed up a ladder to get to the ground and stood at the sidelines ready to roll up non-existent sleeves and join in should a fight break out.
i jumped, shouted, jumped and shouted, clutched head, chewed my dupatta and made such a ruckus that i think everyone was looking at me - or so i would like to believe! Inspite of my over zealous cheering, the team did not score and there was a tie-break. i cheered so loudly when the other team missed that i am scared one of them might trip me tomorrow in the office! The score stood 1-1 after three shots. And then - sudden death. When the opponent missed, you should have heard us!! And when we scored, we invaded the field. Mairi, it was fun.
The second team is going to play at around 8 - must have started now - so SC and i left. Enough cheering for one day. i threatened one of the kids that i would assign some mean task tomorrow if they lose!! i am so nice it makes me want to cry.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
300
(One of my fave pictures i have sketched on iPhone.)
What does it takes to make one happy? Happiness – what is it? This emotion – how do you define it? Is it the absence of sadness? Or a state of mind when everything looks and feels good? When i say i am happy, what exactly do i mean???
So yesterday, after office, i decided to go and buy some chicken for dinner – no, not from Mac – from the neighborhood maangso (meat) shop. Then i remembered that i have less than 100 bucks with me. This thought made me so happy – ok, one more proof that i am not normal. i checked my wallet - which is pointless given that it is the last place where i put money! My bag is as unorganized as me – that is another story. Coming back to the current story, i rummaged and counted and found that i had just about enough money for the rickshaw fare and about 700g of chicken!! This made me so happy – the fact that i did not have enough money to buy even one 1kg of meat! Somehow, it made me feel so human, so happy knowing that i had to count and re-count the money to make sure i had enough.
i have decided not to go to the ATM and survive with just a few bucks. Do you think something is wrong with me – i mean, is it normal to feel this happy about not having something? You would expect the opposite. But then, i am not normal by any yardstick.
And this is my 300th post. i am old now – 300 posts old. Ancient.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
cribbing--no, i am not
i won’t do a “depressed” post today. Which is tough going by the state of my mind. And i find i don’t have any topic in mind. Which would mean that apart from cribbing i don’t have much of a life.
i am going through a mid-life crisis, i think. When, all of a sudden, nothing seems good to me. i am so distracted all the time. By the hints of possibilities. But, as usual, i refuse to open the door when opportunities knock. Why am i so laid back?
What do i want? God, what do i want?? Oh god, there i go again…..
OK, ok….books. Let me talk about books. i am reading “Cancer Ward” right now – see, even my choice of book is depressing. It is by the Russian author whose name i cannot pronounce. It is an old book – i think we bought it from a second shop some 100 years back. It was his choice, surprisingly. Apart from those Oracle Woracle books, he does not read. So i don’t know why he bought it. Anyways, this book has been lying on the shelf for so long, it has sprouted roots – i didn’t read it because i was not the one who picked it (???!!) and i somehow found the cover depressing – now i know why they said you should not judge a book by its covers. Since i ran out of books, i was searching for one i could re-read when i found this one all dusty and unwanted – which also speaks a lot about my housekeeping skills.
And i love this book.
i have not finished “hundred years of solitude”. It is the kind of book you want to continue reading and hoping it won’t end – and since it is very unlikely to happen that way, i stopped reading before i could come to the end. i know, i know, i sound silly. But i want to start reading it again right from the beginning after say, 2 years – if i am still alive – and then stop halfway. One unfinished story i would take to my grave.
i feel like cribbing again so i shall end this post.
i am going through a mid-life crisis, i think. When, all of a sudden, nothing seems good to me. i am so distracted all the time. By the hints of possibilities. But, as usual, i refuse to open the door when opportunities knock. Why am i so laid back?
What do i want? God, what do i want?? Oh god, there i go again…..
OK, ok….books. Let me talk about books. i am reading “Cancer Ward” right now – see, even my choice of book is depressing. It is by the Russian author whose name i cannot pronounce. It is an old book – i think we bought it from a second shop some 100 years back. It was his choice, surprisingly. Apart from those Oracle Woracle books, he does not read. So i don’t know why he bought it. Anyways, this book has been lying on the shelf for so long, it has sprouted roots – i didn’t read it because i was not the one who picked it (???!!) and i somehow found the cover depressing – now i know why they said you should not judge a book by its covers. Since i ran out of books, i was searching for one i could re-read when i found this one all dusty and unwanted – which also speaks a lot about my housekeeping skills.
And i love this book.
i have not finished “hundred years of solitude”. It is the kind of book you want to continue reading and hoping it won’t end – and since it is very unlikely to happen that way, i stopped reading before i could come to the end. i know, i know, i sound silly. But i want to start reading it again right from the beginning after say, 2 years – if i am still alive – and then stop halfway. One unfinished story i would take to my grave.
i feel like cribbing again so i shall end this post.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Friday, November 07, 2008
the D word
After what seems like ages, i chatted with S. He is in India right now for his Visa. The last time we talked was last year when i visited the States. After that, we dropped out of each others' lives. This has always been the way with us - we can spend years not in touch and when we meet/chat again, it is like we have never been apart from each other. He is someone i like talking to because he is the one person who would always tell me the harsh truths.
He is someone who taught me that i do not have to accept everything; the one who made me feel that being stubborn and selfish is ok.
S told me his sister is getting divorced. Of course, my first reaction was "A divorce?!!". And then i told him how just typically middle class was my reaction. As if getting a divorce is a smear on one's character. He told me she tried and after 5 years of trying she decided she had enough. i admire her strength. Of having the courage to decide that enough is enough, that devoting 5 years of your life to a relationship does not mean that you have to endure it for a lifetime.
It takes guts to untie the knots, to unglue the memories, to undo the vows. It takes guts to walk away with your dignity intact.
And why is that people expect that once a woman gets married, she has to give up her dreams and live his and his family's dreams? Why is that they expect her to give the first priority to his parents before her own? i thought marriage was about building new ties, not about breaking old ties to foster new ties. Why is she expected to make all the sacrifices, all the compromises? Why is she supposed to merge her identity? Isn't marriage supposed to be a journey to be undertaken by two souls hand in hand, not a journey where the woman has to follow where the man leads?
He is someone who taught me that i do not have to accept everything; the one who made me feel that being stubborn and selfish is ok.
S told me his sister is getting divorced. Of course, my first reaction was "A divorce?!!". And then i told him how just typically middle class was my reaction. As if getting a divorce is a smear on one's character. He told me she tried and after 5 years of trying she decided she had enough. i admire her strength. Of having the courage to decide that enough is enough, that devoting 5 years of your life to a relationship does not mean that you have to endure it for a lifetime.
It takes guts to untie the knots, to unglue the memories, to undo the vows. It takes guts to walk away with your dignity intact.
And why is that people expect that once a woman gets married, she has to give up her dreams and live his and his family's dreams? Why is that they expect her to give the first priority to his parents before her own? i thought marriage was about building new ties, not about breaking old ties to foster new ties. Why is she expected to make all the sacrifices, all the compromises? Why is she supposed to merge her identity? Isn't marriage supposed to be a journey to be undertaken by two souls hand in hand, not a journey where the woman has to follow where the man leads?
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