update -- recipe--

Well, first, the result of the antakshri. If you knew me as well as my sister does, you would have understood by now. i called her up one hour after the event and before i could tell her, she told me she knew i have mot won anything just from the fact that i did not call up right after it got over! Umm…A creature who would leave no chance to blow her trumpets, if i had done well, it would have been blogged right after the event. We came second last! And got three CDs of AR Rehman to remind me of it till i die or till i smash those CDs. Before you snicker, well, we did good. It was just that the other teams were better than us. And the prelude round did us in. i can remember lyrics but if somebody plays 4 seconds of prelude and ask me to identify the song, i go something like “Duh”. And there was the round where they showed us a picture and we were supposed to identify the song. The twist being that they blurred or cut off the identifying factor! So we were supposed to identify the Taal rain song with just Ash’s ankle showing in the picture. And there was another one with Ash’s midriff – the kaajra rey song. The other teams did well. Just proves that they spend more time watching V, MTV and the other music channels instead of Travel& Living, Discovery or BBC. Grapes are sour…

This is hopefully the last time i would fool myself into thinking that i can win everything!

Life is going good. After all the whining i did last week! Just goes to show that silver linings are still in fashion.

The new flat is almost ready. The flooring is complete. We went to check out the cooking range. Boy, are they expensive. But i dream of a kitchen where i can bake, grill, dish out all the delicacies. Talking of cooking, i prepared panang chicken curry yesterday. And it turned out yummy. It is so easy to prepare – all you need is panang paste which you can pick up at any supermarket, coconut milk and the meat. i didn’t use canned coconut milk – made it on my own. If you are pressed for time but still want to whip up something exotic, try this dish. Too bad i did not take any picture.

The recipe is actually a mixture of all the recipes i found online. All the recipes i found called for fish sauce, lemon grass and kafir lime leaves. i omitted all these from my recipe for the simple reason that I could not lay my hands on these ingredients.

Meat of your choice – (i chose chicken) 600 gms – the original recipe called for 400 gms but i hate cooking anything less than ½ kg!!
Coconut milk – 2 cups (if you have the time and patience, make it on your own)
Panang curry paste – 3 teaspoons
Sugar – 1 teaspoon (Adjust according to taste)
Salt – To taste

Fry the meat in vegetable oil till it is almost done. Drain and keep aside
Heat 1 cup of coconut milk. When it starts to simmer, add the panang curry paste. Let the mixture thicken. Now add the meat. Mix well. Add the remaining 1 cup of coconut milk, sugar and salt. Let it cook till it thickens. I added grated coconut left over after making the milk. And as an afterthought, I added sliced tomatoes and green chillies – just to stick to my character of never being able to stick to the original recipe! Garnish with chopped coriander. And viola, your panang chicken curry is ready. Try it. You would not be disappointed.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Am having big moths (butterflies are too beautiful to be inside anyone’s anatomy) in my stomach. The antakshri competition. Such is my confidence that i am sure we would be the team with the lowest score. i am have been trying to remember songs – like yesterday night, seeing me stare at the ceiling mumbling something, he asked me “are you trying to remember songs?’. i am so sure we are going to lose. i know old songs but am at a complete loss when it comes to the new ones. i am so out of touch – like a dinosaur. Which begs the question why i decided to participate in the first place. Because i am a sadist.

--there she blows again

The clouds parted a bit. And a bit of sunshine filtered into my life. Of course, i could do without it since i seem to prefer darkness more than light! He has been sweet, trying his best to draw me out from wherever it is that i withdraw into after every fight. i have been sulky – i told you I don’t give up gracefully! i am the type who would bite off the opponent’s ear rather than lose gracefully. i have not bitten off any part of his body though i am seriously tempted to do so at times!

i keep wondering whether other couples fight as we do. Do they also go through this phase of fight-make up-be friends-fight again? Do they also spend the whole night fighting? And go to sleep in each other’s arms exhausted after the fight? Or maybe they are understand each other and don’t let small things get under their skin.

Is it human nature to let one small fight fog up all the good times we have had together? We concentrate more on the bitter memories than the better ones. Grudges pile up and one day - boom. Something just ignites the whole pile and it explodes in your face and leaves you wishing you had never fallen in love.

But it is not so easy to fall out of love either. Somehow we tend to think of the effort, the years we have invested in something rather than think about the days to come.

When i watch him sleep, my heart melts. i know what we have is worth saving.

It is just that sometimes, i get so witchy and bitchy and i want to lift him up and smash him to the ground – like Krishna did to his kansa mama. i am glad i am petite. If i had been like built like Hidimba, i cannot imagine the havoc i would have created. If there is anything like reincarnation, i want to be an elephant the next time around. Either that or a black widow spider.

weepy wednesday

Din kaal bhalo jache na amar.

Yesterday, i stayed up till 5. We stayed up till 5. Arguing, flinging barbs, accusations. And finally making up. It is tiring, mentally, emotionally and physically. And i kept wondering what i was doing. It is like being caught in a web. i struggle to free myself but i get more entangled. This is definitely not healthy. Is it because we are so in love with each other that we end up hurting each other? Or is it because all the love has evaporated in the heat of our fights? i don’t know. And i don’t want to know.

Sometimes, we make mistakes. In the choices we make. What is the best option – to undo the choice or face the consequences of our choice? i have always believed in paying for my choices. Now, i wonder whether i have not paid enough already. i know i would be happy all by myself too. Maybe happier than what i am now. But it is so hard to let go. So hard. So fucking hard that i bleed all over.

He said he thinks it would work. If only we tried. Maybe we expect so much from each other. Expectations. i know expectations is the root cause of our unhappiness. i know it. But still, i can’t stop myself sometimes from saving myself from expectations.

hee hee hee...i am tickled pink because i am so melodramatic! i should have been in Ekta kapoor's soaps wearing designer sari without blouse and making faces, crying bucketful of tears over husbands who would die and spring back to life again. Why am i wasting my talent coding?!! My tears would earn me more. And i would not have to use glycerine too.

...and so does tuesday

The mood is no better than yesterday. But i am past caring. Or at least, i am pretending not to care. Which i am good at – i mean pretence. i could pretend i am hurt when my soul is somersaulting inside in joy. i could pretend i am happy when my heart is being broken into smithereens. Maybe this world is pretence. We go through it taking it for real.

Maybe i have crossed into the other world. Or hanging somewhere in between sanity and insanity.

Please tell me whether the moon is waxing or waning.