back in bloggerland

Finally got my laptop. Spent 3 days without it as they needed to re-encrypt the Id. With the company going public, they say it is only going to get stricter. i spent 3 days holed up in my cubicle reading red dragon..Sorta being on a paid vacation. But it was frustrating what with everyone around you slogging their you-know-what off.

Landed here on a cloudy evening. The place has not changed..maybe it is just that i have not changed. S came to pick me up at the airport. Was welcomed with kochu diye ilish mach, moong dal, begun bhaja...Now that is quite a welcome.

i am staying in a studio suite and i don't feel like cooking. So i got myself all the frozen food i could lay my hands on - frozen roti, aloo paratha, onion paratha, pancakes, fried rice, chicken nuggets, chicken tikka, chole....And now i am wondering whether i can finish everything i bought. So like me to waste. And i went to the library to get my quota of books. Don't know whether it reflects my state of mind but half of the books have to do with murder! Murder on my mind.

i don't know whether i would go out of my mind staying alone - i declined an invitation because i don't particularly feel like socialising, esp with people i barely know or want to know. i hate those empty talks and fake smiles. But i am looking forward to dinner at p-da's place next weekeend.

i am back to watching re-runs of sex and the city and my fave crime serials. i would like to do a course on criminal psychology. But i am scared of field work cause i cannot stand the sight of blood. i go wobbly when i see blood. And to think this is the same person who dived out of a plane some thousand feet up! To the contradiction that is i...amen

groggy in singapore...

Still groggy from sleep. Landed here at around 4 in the morning-the time of the night when i am still in dreamland. Managed to find the lounge all by myself-which i manage to miss every single time and i have to ask for directions some nth time to find it. Curled up and slept blissfully. Have 6+ hours to kill before i catch the connecting flight....Traveling alone sure is fun.

Planning to go shopping for jeans - i get nice fit here...And maybe find another cosy corner and finish my book....Hoping to have a pleasant flight and praying that the seat next to me is empty. If there is one thing i can't stand, it is people trying to strike up a conversation...

Got a haircut yesterday--a new style and, if i may say so myself, i am looking good and feeling good. Now, that is not a crime, is it???

drowning...

When it rains, it pours. We have decided to change our plans and stay here with his family. After so much planning, it is hard. But there is no two ways about it. They need us and i guess this is the least we can do. So,machu pichhu and sahara and egypt would have to wait a little bit longer for me.

It has been a tough time and i know it is going to get tougher. Well, yes, i am scared. i hate seeing the pain in his eyes. i hate the pain she is going through. i wish i could help. But, sometimes, you are impotent – all you can do is stand and stare.

And i am leaving tomorrow for two months. There are some loose ends i need to tie up there. A part of me does not want to go. But go, i must.

The city is drowning. And there is forecast for more rain. i am worried about whether my flight would be able to take off. i don't want to be stranded in the airport in the middle of the night...Sheesh..nothing seems to be working out for me...

On the work front, i am going to be promoted. More work, more responsiblity...Am i excited? Don't know. This news has been kinda neutralised by all the woes i am facing now.

Life. You make plans galore. And, when you least expect it, it trips you. And you land on your face. But then, this is life, isn’t it?

rained out....

Trip postponed by three weeks. Will be flying to delhi next week for a family emergency.Was planning to surprise him on his birthday by landing up unannounced on his doorstep.That plan has been washed away. And the rain reflects my gloomy mood.

hell, i am depressed on a friday..

Just one week left. And i am depressed. Not even the excitement of meeting him again lessens the sinking feeling. Maybe it is the thought of having to stay there for such a long time. So far away from home. i think the one thing i am most worried about is my sister staying alone. i guess i am over-protective when it comes to her.

koyi yeh kaise bataye
ki woh tanha kyon he
woh jo apana tha wahi
aur kisi ka kyon he
yahi duniya hai to
phir aisee ye duniya kyon hai
yahi hota hai to
aakhir yahi hota kyon hai