If we could.....

If we could live our lives again
Would we the same?

Would you say the same things to charm me?

Would i still believe you
When you say i am beautiful like the sunset?

Would you still think i am witch to charm you so?

Would you still go away
knowing you will never come back to me?

Home alone

Since my darling sister is still basking in the sun back home, i am here singing "All by myself". And surviving on momos and pineapple juice (what a combo, i swear) and silly movies on the telly.

On the work front, i am yet to get back into the slogging groove. And i have a cold that is driving me crazy ( right now, i am sniffling away to glory).

The processing of the home loan, much to my surprise, is going ahead smoothly. Since i have opted to get a loan from a government bank, i was sure i would get caught in red tape. i have been warned by all and sundry how much running around i would have to do just to get the loan sanctioned. And lo and behold, just to prove everyone wrong, the bank tells me the major processing is done. Wonders will never cease.

i am surfing the net for modular kitchen designs. If there is one thing i envy about the apartments in the States, it has to be the kitchen. And maybe the bathroom. No wonder i could work up the energy to try out so many new recipes when i am there. All my colleagues complain how i never cook for them when i am here. i remember trying my hands at making all the sweets i could think up of - son papdi, barfi, mysore pak, pathisapta - and feeding my colleagues over there.

i cannot wait to decorate the flat. i got two "laiphadibi" (doll) from home. They stand about 2 foot tall! i thought they would look nice as decoration pieces. And i got those artificial flowers from Moreh. i have informed my landlord that i would be leaving by next month. Yes!!!

i know i am going to be bankrupt pretty soon. But who cares. After all, why do i earn if i cannot spend it on things i want to, right?

yum sweet yum

i am back after nearly a fortnight home. Every time i go there, there is this voice inside that keeps whispering how nice it would be if i didn’t have to count the days i have to fly back. It is like an ache that refuses to go away, this pining for the place where i don’t have to stay in a chicken-coop, where i can hug my mother and not just do with her voice over the phone, where life crawls by and you can caress the moments as they glide by…i know i can complain about the status of the road, a flyover that does not seem to want to take off, a market place which looks like a dumping ground, bandhs and strikes, about the load shedding…about corruption, about the so-called “patriotic” naharols….But inspite of all the warts, i love the place, i love the way it refreshes my mind, my spirits.

i decided to give everyone a surprise so i went without informing anyone. i landed there, asked around if there was a prepaid taxi service (stupid of me, I know). Of course, there was none. i finally found a guy and he promptly led me to this auto and managed to stuff my jumbo suitcase inside, much to my amazement. Anyways, there i was feeling like a princess in an auto! Of course, i got chided by everyone. My initial plan was just to spend a week there as i still have the loan cloud hovering above my head. The day before i was supposed to leave, after a bout of emotional attack, i decided to extend the stay for another week. i had to call up the bank, the promoter, my PL to make sure nobody was miffed. My PL was like how could you think of it, everyone here is missing you…i managed to get my way, as always.

Our leikai does not get water supply (ha ha ha) so we have to pump the water from the Imphal river. We have this pump that weighs like an elephant. i nearly sprained my back carrying it (not alone, just in case someone takes me for Kunjarani). As always, i had a fabulous time playing gags on all and sundry, teaching bad things to my cousins and my sweetie pie of a niece (one of my fave pastime when I am home), gorging on all those delicious homemade food….i am feeling so nostalgic right now. i could cry buckets of tears..sigh…

I miss the sound of the “konung”’s gong heralding the start of the day, the chirping of birds, the chattering of my two small precocious cousins, the fights with my sisters, being the judge of the silly games my cousins insist on playing (like throwing their collection of pokemon cards on the ground and seeing who can pick up the most – the punishment for the loser being dancing with his pants down – hey, they are just small kids so there is nothing indecent about this)…….let me stop before I drown in the sea of nostalgia..

Yes......................

After hours of frustration, not to speak of aching feet (and heart), i have found the one. The apartment, i mean. Maybe i am in an indecent hurry but i want everything wrapped up. Anyway, to cut a boring story, i finally found a flat i like in a location i want. i signed the agreement with the promoter today morning and submitted the application for a home loan. But this is just the beginning. i have to think about the painting, the electrical installation and so on and so forth. Boy, i am scared and almost bankrupt, well, maybe not, but i will be..soon enough…

With all the running around, i have hardly time to think about anything else. Or anyone. Which is a blessing.

Ki je hoche

An exhausted mind and body. Nearly wilted after walking around in the sun looking for the ever elusive flat. i am so dead tired. i swear i will just buy the next one that strikes me as live-able. And on top of that you have the brokers who do not keep their words. Why are people so unpunctual? i cannot stand unpunctuality. i don’t believe in making other people wait and i expect the same from them. i was so damn pissed off the other day that i gave the guy a dressing down he will remember for some days to come.

Anyway, here i am, still flat-less. Exasperated. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa……..

i managed to finish “Germinal“by Emile Zola. A bit on the depressing side the way it ended but a nice tale of human emotions. i want to finish “Lord of the flies” but i don’t know why but the story depresses me. There is an oppressive air about it, the way everything hints at dark things to come. i know it is but a story. But sometimes, i think i tend to sink too deep into words.